To Hell and Back Again

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"I've had nightmares," Steve thought back to his nightmares and what they carried. The pain he felt when experiencing the same events over and over again only to be woken up in a cold sweat. "I've had nightmares about you, about Dustin, about Eddie. Specifically, ones where I wasn't able to save you guy." Steve was specifically thinking about the ones where he couldn't save Eddie. He was too slow or he wasn't there when Eddie needed him. He replayed the haunts in his mind hoping to find a reason why they would be bothering him. "And it's every single time I close my eyes." He wasn't joking. The second he fell asleep he'd be bombarded with haunting images of his closest loved ones dying. It was every single moment of every single night.
"So what are you saying?" Robin leaned closer to Steve, the anticipation practically killing her.
"When Max was cursed..." Steve started as he gulped, not realizing what he was referencing.
"No, Steve. There's no way. We killed that fucker, you saw it. Nancy killed him. She shot him like a dozen times." Robin's eyes got wide as she refused to think about what Steve was hinting towards.
"But when she was cursed, Robin... she had nose bleeds, she had headaches, she said that thing was feeding off of her worst memories, her fears, her... her trauma." Steve tapped the counter with his finger, trying to spit out the words.
"But that hasn't been happening to you... right?" Robin paused as she looked at the horror on Steve's face. "Right?"
"Robin," Steve looked up and opened his mouth to speak. He tried to hide the horror in his voice from Robin.
"No." Robin shook her head and laughed in disbelief. "No, Steve. Not you. There's got to be an explanation. Life is back to normal now, Vecna-slash-Henry- slash- one is not coming for you."
"But if he is..." Steve cleared his throat again, trying to make that feeling go away, trying to make the terror in his voice unheard. "Then I need you to make sure Dustin is alright, I need you to make sure Eddie is alright. Alright?"
"No! Steve, damn it! No!" She pounded her fist on the counter top. All she could do was think about who was going to make sure she was alright? Who is going to make sure that she is moving on and she is coping? "You're not going to die!" Her voice cracked as she started to get watery eyes. Steve sighed and slid over the top of the counter. He pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back to let her know he was there. She'd never been this close with Steve. She'd never felt this scared to lose him.
"Robin, it'll be okay. I just want to make sure that you know what to do, okay?"
Moments later, Steve walked out of Family Video, his eyes watery and his hands shaky. Trying to act normal in front of Eddie was an idea that went out the window ages ago. Steve sniffled as he got into the car. "Is everything alright?" Eddie asked as Steve sat down and buckled his seat belt. Instead of speaking, he just nodded. Eddie looked down at Steve's hands, sitting in his lap. They were practically vibrating from his anxiety and worries at the moment. Eddie took Steve's hand in his, almost stopping the shaking instantly. "Steve, what's wrong?"
"I love you, Ed." He refused to look at Eddie. He refused to look him in the eye and tell him what was on his mind. "I love you, I want you to know that, okay?" Steve choked a bit at the end of his sentence, causing his voice to crack.
"I know? I love you too." Eddie looked at Steve's profile, worried what was going on with him. He used two of his fingers to move Steve's face towards him, so they were looking at each other. "What's going on, lover boy?" Eddie laughed to cover up how much he didn't want to hear Steve's answer.
"I- please, don't make me explain. I just want you to know that I love you, Ed. I would do anything for you. Anything... I would literally go to hell and back for you." Steve's voice broke as he slowly broke. His heart was thumping in his chest.
"Well- well you have to please tell me what's going on..." Eddie's mind went to every possible reason why Steve would be telling him this. We're breaking up. He doesn't want to be with me anymore. He's leaving. There's got to be a reason...
"I think I'm going to die." Steve mumbled as he wiped off his tear stained cheeks. Eddie's heart fell into a pit in his chest. "You know... Max... and the whole thing..." Steve tried not to speak too much with a terrible fear that he'd completely break down in the Family Video parking lot.
"No." Eddie denied. "Let's just go home, forget we had this conversation, and watch David Bowie in wicked tight pants." Eddie exhaled a shaky breath. He looked forward, just as Steve had done earlier.
"Ed, if something happens to me," Steve's grip on Eddie's hand increased.
"No. Just drive home. I'm not even thinking about this...just let's go home, Steve."