Lords Series #1: Lord's Obsession (UNDER MAJOR REVISION)

CHAPTER 28

SHE PACKED HER THINGS so she can leave first thing in the morning. She went off the bed at 4 AM, hoping that Bylur wasn't up yet. She looked at her room for the last time before going out.

I need to do this. I don't belong here in the first place though. I was just a stranger. I need to go back to my normal life so he could also go back to his’.

She pressed her mouth shut, trying to stop herself from crying.

She tried to sneak out but it seemed like life was playing with her. Bylur was awake.

“V-Valouise…”

Valouise froze in her place, not knowing what to do or what to say. Gusto n'yang umalis nang walang paalam, ayaw n'yang makausap si Bylur dahil hindi n'ya rin naman masabi ang dahilan kung bakit siya aalis. At higit sa lahat, hindi n'ya kayang magsinungaling dito lalo na’t nahulog na siya kay Bylur.

Bylur looked so confused — he seemed to ask her but there's no voice coming out from his mouth. Valouise saw how stunned Bylur was and she took the opportunity to just leave without a word.

Tinalikuran n'ya ito at nagsimula siyang naglakad nang mabilis pa labas ngunit bago pa siya makalabas ng bahay ay bigla siyang niyakap ni Bylur.

“W-Where are you going, V-Val?” Bylur asked as his hug tightened.

Valouise tried to take his hands off but he was holding her tightly. She felt her heart starting to feel heavy and her eyes starting to tear up.

“Bitawan mo ‘ko.” She tried to sound cold. She cleared her throat, trying not to break into tears.

“Ayaw ko.” Matiim na sambit ni Bylur at sinubsob ang mukha sa balikat.

“M-May nagawa ba akong mali? May n-nasabi ba akong hindi m-mo nagustuhan? Pag-usapan naman natin ‘to…” Bylur was crying. He is crying. He's trying hard not to stutter but his emotions fail him.

His voice is broken. His eyes are wet. His arms tightened around her, afraid that once he let go or he loosened up, he'd lose her.

“Maayos n-naman tayo kahapon ‘di ba? You w-were happy. W-We were. What's wrong? D-Don’t j-just leave me l-like this, V-Val!” Bylur pleaded and his sobs were starting to get loud.

“Y-You were happy with me—”

“I was never happy with you, Bylur!” Valouise screamed. Bylur's arms loosened. He let go of her and stood up in front of her. He stared at the floor with his arms by his side— he looked like he'd lost hope.

She thought it was the only way to make him let go. It is the only way to get out of the house. She doesn't want to hurt his feelings but she doesn't want another reason to stay in this house.

“Don't make this hard for me, Bylur! I was never happy with you. Never! You made my life miserable. I lost my normal life because of you! I'm sick of this shit.”

“V-Valouise…” he stopped sobbing but his tears continued to flow.

“I — I just want to keep you safe.” He said, sounding desperate. He held both of her hands, coping it with both of his hands as he started to kneel down, begging her to stay.

“Pag-usapan muna natin ‘to, ha?” Sinubukang abutin ni Bylur ang maleta ni Valouise at kukunin na n'ya sana ito.

“Bylur, stop. Tumayo ka!"  She whispered but he didn't listen, he stayed kneeling, looking down, still crying. He grabbed her suitcase and tried to take it away.

“I said, stop!” She shouted once again.

“Pwede ba? Tigilan mo na ako, Bylur. Sino ka ba para pigilan ako sa mga gusto kong gawin? Dahil lang sa nangyari kahapon ganiyan ka na? God, I didn't know that a pack leader is this stupid! That was just a kiss and now you're trying to make it a big deal?” Valouise said.

“I don't want you. I don't want to see you. I hate you. Is that hard to understand?”

Bylur's hand clenched. Those words cut deep in his heart. He couldn't understand what he felt, all he knows was that words shatter him to pieces. His hands fell, he felt defeated.

“Y-You don't mean it, Valouise. I-I saw how happy you are. Your eyes say it all. D-Don’t lie t-to me. Stop whatever you are trying to do.” Bylur answered. He tried to go closer to Valouise but she took steps backward to avoid him.

“Fuck! You're not just stupid, you're also delusional, aren't you?”

“Just let me leave, Bylur. Ayaw ko na rito. It sucks.”  Valouise said and sighed. Bylur seems to have given up. He stepped away from her. As soon as Bylur's hand let go of her suitcase, she immediately took it and turned her back on him.

She looked up to the ceiling, trying to stop her tears.

“You're really good at making me miserable, woman.” He whispered.

Valouise bit her lower lips and took a deep breath. Without other thoughts, she stepped outside the house without looking back at him.

Agad siyang lumabas ng bahay nang walang lingon. Umalis siyang mabigat ang pakiramdam.

Nasaktang n'ya nang sobra si Bylur.

Leaving was not the worst and painful part of what happened, it was when she hurt him. Nasaktan nang sobra si Valouise sa mga sinabi n'ya kay Bylur dahil alam n'ya sa sarili n'yang lahat ng ‘yon ay kasinungalingan.

Nang isang hakbang na lang ang kulang para makalabas na siya nang tuluyan, napalingon siya sa dinaanan n'ya. Sa oras na hindi na nya matanaw ang bahay ni Bylur at tanging ang mga halaman ni Bylur lamang ang nakikita n'ya lalo na ang kerria japonica, lubhang bumuhos ang mga luha ni Valouise. Ayaw na n'yang magtagal pa kaya agad siyang lumabas.

When she stepped outside that black gate, it disappeared. His property banished into thin air. His house, his garden, Bylur— everything was gone in one single blink. And then, suddenly she was in her room.

“I hurt the man I love!” She cried in desperation. She dropped her suitcase and sat down on the floor, crying her heart out.

“I haven't even told him how I feel and now he's gone.”

All I said was a lie. Hate is far from what I really feel for him. I love him. I wanna be with him. He changed my life— beautifully. He made me happy. He brought those smiles I lost years ago. He gave me a new reason to live. He's the reason why I wanted to continue but I've hurt him for a selfish reason. I haven't confessed how I feel about him and I don't know if I could ever see him again.

She cried and her hand found her chest. It was suffocating, her heart aches, it feels like thousands of needles have picked every inch of her. This pain— This pain is far enough from what she have imagined.

“B-Bakit ang sakit…”

Alam n'yang nasaktan n'ya si Bylur pero habang sinasaktan n'ya ito, habang sinasabi n'ya ang mga ‘di kaaya-ayang mga salitang ‘yon, mas lalo n'yang sinasaktan ang sarili n'ya. Masakit para sa kaniyang itulak plato sa kaniya ang taong alam n'yang sinisigaw ng puso n'ya.

FAITH
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