Lords Series #1: Lord's Obsession (UNDER MAJOR REVISION)

CHAPTER 29

BYLUR'S POV

AFTER 7 MONTHS…

I left that town. I left the town where we met. I know I would miss her, that I'll be looking for her but was staying there worth anything? She left me behind, for what reason should I stay?

When I started to think that I could find love, she left me behind. I was on my knees. I was begging. And I thought… I thought I did my best to make her feel my love for her.

It's been 6 months since she left me. It's been 6 months and I'm home alone but is this really home? Home is supposed to be fun. Home is warm. Home is comfort. Home is… home is her. But I feel no warmth, it's not fun here and she's not even here. How can I call an empty house a home?

And when I visited her place, in the town where we met to find solace, to fill the gap and void that she left, all that happened was I am more shattered than I ever was. I saw her! I saw the woman I love with my brother. She's smiling. He was holding her hands and I could see it— I could see in her eyes how happy she was. Happier than she was with me.

I don't understand myself. I'm happy yet sad. My heart sunken, my eyes wet, my lips trembling, my toes weakened, it felt like I lost everything. I lost my everything. I lost my woman. I lost my Valouise. My Valouise.

I'm outside her cafe watching them. My already shattered heart crumbled into pieces after seeing the next thing that happened — my brother kissed her. They are the people I hold dear. I felt betrayed but I know I shouldn't feel this way. She was never mine. In her two lives, she was never once mine. They both love each other and I was the one who broke them apart, I'm the evil one after all. I know that. I know to myself that I am the bad guy. I put them in despair because of my selfishness. I don't have any right to be disheartened.

All I wished and ever wanted is to be loved by her but it seems like I don't stand a chance. 

I just smiled bitterly at myself and left that place. I went back to the house that I once had called my home. I tried to build us. I tried to make her love me but what was left with me is the memories we've made in this place. That's the only thing I have right now. The memories of her— the memories of us that we have shared. But were those memories worth it when she doesn't seem to treasure them as much as I do?  Yes. Yes, it is worth it.

It was short but beautiful. It finished too soon but it was with her, that makes everything worth it until the very last moment. I don't know where I went wrong, it suddenly ended. She puts me in despair again, but it's fine. As long as she's the reason for this pain and tears, it's all worth it.

If ever she finds herself coming back to me again, I'll be waiting, spreading my arms wide, ready to accept and embrace her once again. I'll wait for my turn. I'll wait for the time she'll choose me.

FAITH
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