Napatingin ako sa kalangitan, walang mga bituin ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba tong desisyon ko pero alam ko para toh sa kanya at alam ko sa huli hindi akong magsisising ginawa ko tong desisyon ko.
It's for him, for his dream. Makakahintay naman ako, diba? Kakayanin ko naman, diba?
Hindi ko naman toh pagsisisihan, diba?
Marami pang tanong na nasa utak ko pero hindi ko kayang ipalabas dahil baka sa huli ako lang din ang iiyak. This was a hard decision for me. Hindi ko alam at naguguluhan ako. I want to be selfish pero I want to be selfless at the same time.
"What are you doing there, babe?" bumalik sa reyalidad ang aking isipan ng may yumakap sa akin mula sa likod ko.
"Nothing" I said to him and suddenly smiled.
Tumayo lang kami doon ng ilang oras, he's hugging me from my back. We were just standing there looking at the skies. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko and then he suddenly interwined our fingers.
"Our hands fit each other talaga" sabi niya that made me chuckle. "Ang ganda ng kamay mo"
"Inlove ka na naman sakin non?" sabi ko sakanya that made him hide from my nape.
We're in his condo right now. He's leaving two days from now yet hindi pa namin napapagusapan kung ano ang mangyayari sa aming dalawa. Palagi na ata akong nandito pero hindi man lang niya nai-open ang usapan na yon.
"You're hands are really perfect" sabi niya sa akin while showing our hands that is intertwined. "Alam mo may alam akong mas gaganda pa sa kamay mo" he said and then suddenly I saw him sliding a ring inside my ring finger. I looked at him with curiosity.
"See?" he said and then kissed my temple. "It really looks good" sabi niya. "I love you" he whispered to me.
"You're the reason for me to stay, my Fey" he said and then he made me face him. "Hindi ako aalis" he said with finality.
"No" suddenly I said that without stuttering. "Pangarap mo yon" I said and then my voice started to shake. "Pangarap mo yon, Zian" ulit ko pa. "I can wait. I can really wait, Zian. Kahit ilang taon pa yan, kaya kitang hintayin, Zian. Please Zian. I'm begging you, I want you to reach your dreams, it's one of your biggest dreams right? Ilang taon ka ding nag aral para doon diba? Please babe" I pleaded. It feels so wrong to beg pero ngayon it feels so right.
"But—" sabi niya sa akin but I put my index finger to his lips.
"No buts, Zian. You should reach your dreams nandito lang din naman ako. hinding hindi ako mawawala sayo. Noon mo pa yan pinaghahandaan and I want you to reach your own dreams. You want to be a neurosurgeon, right?" my tears started to fall out of my eyes, hindi ko gustong umiyak pero kusa itong lumalabas galing sa mata ko. "I want you to reach your own dreams babe. Diba sabi mo i'm the reason for you to stay? Then I want to be the reason too so that you can reach your own dreams. I can wait, I can really wait." sabi ko ng walang pag aalinlangan.
He wiped my tears.
"Please?" I said to him.
"Please stop crying babe. I don't want to see you crying. If that's what you want and then I'll go. Kahit na I don't want to leave you" sabi niya pa and then wiped my tears and kissed my eyes.
"I can wait babe" sabi ko pa and smiled at him kahit alam kong durog na durog na ako. I don't really want you to leave, can you just stay here by my side and cling on me, always? I stopped my self from saying those lines.
"The ring looks so good in my hands babe. Look!" I said, changing the topic.
"Thank you" I said to him and kissed his lips. "Gusto ko matupad mo mga pangarap mo, okay? Kung babalik ka man dito sa pilipinas gusto ko neurosurgeon kana. Wag na wag kang babalik dito hangga't d ka pa nuerosurgeon ha, tatakwil talaga kita papuntang canada kung babalik ka ditong hindi pa rin nuerosurgeon." banta ko sakanya.
"Yes maam" he said kahit na labas sa loob niya. He suddenly sealed our lips with a kiss. "I love you, my fey. Hindi ko na alam kung anong nagawa mo sa akin that made me love you more. I love you to the point that
my heart is full of you I can hardly call it my own. I really want you to be mine when I saw you going out of your car when you suddenly bumped my car. Parang hindi ata yung sasakyan mo yung puso ko yata yung nabangga mo tapos kinuha mo na ng tuluyan. Ang daya mo naman, hindi mo binalik yung puso ko. Pero okay lang, ikaw naman yan eh. And I know my heart is always safe with you, as I am safe with you all the time. You will never unloved by me,
ypu are too well tangled in my soul. Naka posas ka na dito sa puso ko, sounds cringe pero that's true. I can't even get you out of my mind everyday. Thank you for staying by my side alway, babe. You're the reason for me to stay yet, you're the one who's pushing me away. Damn, sakit mo. But for you, I would risk it all." he sealed our lips with a kiss.
