The Arrangement (Pt 1)

Chapter Six

Married? Married? What the actual hell?!

My mind races as I reach across to shut off my alarm after not sleeping a wink all night. I am in complete disbelief. We have known each other a week  and she wants to marry me. She knows nothing all about me. I know nothing at all about her. It's crazy.

I am overexcited at the idea of having a day off as I know I won't have to face Sloane in work.  I decide to get up and go for a run but this time in the woods and mountains well away from the beach where I know Sloane will be running. I feel the air through my lungs and race through the trees and greenery until I reach the peak of the mountain. I look out of the edge and I feel soe dangerous thoughts begin to creep in and I know the pain is becoming too much so I decide to text Kyle and call into the store on the way back.

By the time I reach home an hour later, I have a bottle of vodka and a bag of cocaine and I push through my apartment door desperate to numb the pain of losing yet another person I care about. I head into the shower with the whisky sipping it as I cleaned up in the shower so desperate to wash away the memories of ugly mens unwanted touches on my body and the warmth of my mothers touch. When I get out of the shower I get changed and head towards the bedroom with the bottle and the bag of cocaine. I close the door and set up on the side board before snorting more than I normally should do.

My head begins to spin uncontrollably and slurp on the bottle as I move unsteadily towards the bed where I fall face first into a black abyss. The last thing I see is her standing before me holding out her hand to me.

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"Dani! Dani! Wake up! Open your eyes goddammit! God! Please! Wake up D! Hello - uh - hi - I need an - an ambulance please! Yes - it's u - hu - emergency. My - uh - girlfri - uh friend has overdosed. Please come right now. 12 Orchard apartments, Roxdale, yes!"

I feel my head racing as I come in and out of conscienceness and see blurry images of Sloanes worried little face. I feel her rub my head before everything goes black again.

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When I finally wake up, I hear the beeps and buzzing of machines and when I manage to open my eyes I look around and see I am in a hospital room. I see Sloane sitting fast asleep in a  chair beside my bed wearing her uniform.  I feel a dull pain all throughout my body but seeing her sleeping makes my heart melt. My mind begins to race even further when I realise that I am sitting in a hospital room and I get a flashback to cocaine and whisky from the day before.

Oh no, panic begins to set in when I realise I must have had an overdose and Sloane found me. As I look around, I begin to wonder how the hell can I get out of this one. As I am absorbed in my thoughts about what to do, I don't notice Sloane beginning to stir and sit up.

"Dani! You're awake!"

Before I can react she is giving me a massive hug and I look back at her smiling awkwardly. She cups my face in her hands and I feel a gush of warmth and love go through me.

"You really scared me Dani. What the hell were you thinking?"

I look away embarrased. She caresses my cheek before moving her hands to holding mine and rubing her thumb over my fingers gently.

"Speak to me Dani, am I the reason for all this?"

She looks down and I see tears streaming down her cheek, I remove my hand and wipe away her tears before holding her face in my hands and looking at her.

"This is my stupid mistake, not your fault Sloane I promise. I am so scared. I want to change but I don't see a way out. I need help."

Sloane looks at me laser focused then pulls away off the bed. Standing she looks around awkwardly, "then I will help you. I didn't mean to seem so forward the other night I know that was a crazy suggestion but being in the military has great health and medical benefits and that extends to spouses so that's why I suggested it. I'm sorry. We don't have to we will figure it out financially, I promise."

I look at Sloane and then back at my hands.

"It's crazy and we know nothing about each other but I have never known anyone want to help me like you do. I don't want you to financially struggle because of me so let's do it."

Sloane let's out a deep breath and looks at me a little less relieved. She seems in disbelief that I have just agreed to marry her and my own mind begins racing as I imagine the implications this will have and the potential expectations that will come with it.

"As friends though, Sloane. Only friends."

Sloane looks at me smiling and then laughs.

"Of course Dani, I know there is absolutely nothing between us. No strings I promise."

I can't help but feel a little bit hurt at her words. 'Absolutely nothing between us' - why would she say that? Does she really feel that way? Have I made every little feeling up in my head. The stares, eyecontact, winks, touching - was it all in my imagination?