Until death

Chapter 30: indigo

TW
MENTIONS OF RAPE/VIOLENCE
PANIC ATTACK
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

He's here

He's stood in the corner of my room smirking at me. I can't move. I can't fucking move.
My arms are heavy on my chest , I watch with wide eyes as he stalks towards me. He's standing over me now, my mouth is clamped shut and I tremor, my hands are itching to wrap around his neck.

"Bluebell" why am I not doing anything, why aren't my arms responding. I'm screaming. Nobody can hear me. I'm alone, no one's going to save me, it's going to happen again.

My breaths leave my mouth in quick uneven heaves, I'm gasping for air that's not filling my lungs. My visions blurry but I can see his figure reaching out to me. He's touching my chest and stroking my cheek.

Please
Please
Please

Stop

I let out a final scream as he begins to undo his belt and darkness surrounds me.

I shoot up and gasp for air, my lungs finally begin to function as I feel the tears running down my face. He's all over me,I can feel his calloused hands scraping at my skin and gripping at my chest. There's a pressure on my throat and I grab my neck.

I just want to get him off of me. His rough touches sear my arms as I relive the feeling of him running his fingers over the scars he's left behind. My heart shatters my rib cage as I stumble out the bed, yanking the hoodie off and fumbling with the door of the bathroom.

I pull of my leggings and everything else until I'm naked. My back arches as I scratch at my skin desperate to rid myself of the marks that scatter my body. My nails claw over my thighs, my breaths are shallow, I'm dirty.I need to wash it all off, I want to peel off the skin he abused and rip of the hair he pulled.

I get in the shower and turn the knob to hottest level. I grab the shower scrub and lather myself with body wash. I scrub violently until my arms are red and my thighs are raw, it's not enough though.

It's never going to be enough.

I squirm and drop the scrubber, my fingernails are breaking as I scratch at my flesh, I don't want the skin he's touched.

Through my haze I hear a gunshot ring out and I slide to floor of the shower. There's nothing I can do, I'm not ever going to feel clean.

I look up through teary eyes and see the silhouette of someone approaching me. I cower back against the wall. He's here again, he's going to hurt me again. The figure walks closer and closer to me and I accept defeat. I scrunch my eyes closed and wait. For what?

To be raped
To be hit
To be beaten

But none of that happens, instead I'm pulled onto someone's lap as I thrash around and scream at them to let go.

"I'm not him, it's only me blue, I'm only your grey" the voice soothes me and I look up at their face. It's grey, my grey.

I calm my breathing as he unbuttons his soaking shirt and wraps it around my body. I have no energy to feel embarrassed that he's seen me like this, I have no energy to feel anything.

The only thing I can feel is safe, because I'm in greys arms now and he won't let anything happen to me, he promised.

He stands up with me and turns off the shower, he walk over to the towel rack and and pulls one round my trembling shoulders.

"It's alright baby, I'm here. I'm here" he repeats and walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I can see my mum over his shoulder, she's crying and looking at me in shock. I pull grey closer and in response he tightens his grip on me. He goes to put me down on the bed but I panic and fist his shirt shaking my head.

"Sweetheart, your mum needs to get you dressed" he tells me softly but he can't go.

He can't.

"Please don't leave me" my voice sound foreign to me, it's hoarse and quiet.

"I'm not leaving baby, I'll be right outside the door ok, I'll be straight back in as soon as you're dry and have some more clothes on" he says and sets me on the bed. He places a kiss on my forehead and leaves me alone with my mum who walks over to me with the clothes I took off.

"Please mamá, I don't want to put that back on" I explain and she nods at me, she goes over to the draw and gets out another jumper, I want one of greys hoodies. She grabs some panties and sweats and changes me into them. She strokes my face and I shiver at the contact.

"I'm sorry my sweet girl"

"It's ok" I respond and watch the door waiting for grey to walk back in.

He enters a couple minutes later with a hoodie and sweats on, his hairs still damp and he walks over to me quickly. My mum thanks grey and he pulls her into a hug, it's funny because he's so tall and she's like me, not tall whatsoever.I laugh a little and he looks over at me and smiles.

"There's that laugh " he says and releases my mum who smiles at me and leaves shutting the door behind her.

He stands over the bed and I tug at his hoodie. He furrows his brows before a look of realization crosses his features and he grins.

"You want this?" He asks and I nod.

He pulls it over his head exposing his stomach a bit as his t-shirt gets lifted with it. He hands the hoodie to me and turns around. I take off the jumper I'm wearing and replace it with my hoodie instead, he smells so nice.

"You smelling me blue?" he chuckles at me.

"You wish" I lie and he gets in the bed next to me and pulls the throw over us.

I feel a lot more at ease but my skins sore and my eyes sting. I have a headache from crying and my hands are still shaking.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks and puts his arm behind my head. I prop myself up and then lay back down on his bicep.

"It's-it's just.... It's difficult, I feel disgusting" I say and he leans on his elbow.

"Indigo knightly, do you not know how fucking beautiful you are, you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and I'll be dammed if you let some low life fuck ever make you feel less than perfect because you're the strongest most amazing girl I've ever met and no one will ever compare to you in my eyes" he recites to me and my heart melts at his little speech. He leans down and places a kiss on my cheek.

"Repeat after me baby" I giggle at him as he presses a feather light kiss to the tip of my nose.

"You're beautiful"

"I'm beautiful" I repeat and he lands another kiss to the top of my ear.

"You're perfect"

"Nobody's perfect-"

"Indigo" he groans and I laugh at him

"Im perfect" he kisses the corner of my mouth

"You're amazing"

"Im amazing" he places the softest kiss to my lips

"You're mine"

"I'm yours" I like him a lot, I want to pursue things with him so I don't see a point in arguing with him.

He grins like an idiot and lays back down. This boys saving my life and he doesn't even know it.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

They. Are. So. Fucking. Adorable I can't.

Hope you liked it my loves

Love y'all

Happy reading!