Sander Sides One Shots

a bad breakup

This is just me forcing my emotions onto Virgil, so characters may seem out of character and shit
This is literally just me venting but using Virgil in place of my name and the sides in place of my ex, my partners, and my friends
Tw: idfk I'm writing this when I'm tried and sad, shouldn't be anything to bad as since this is based off my feeling I'm not going to do anything like su**ide or shit like that

~Virgils POV~

I can't believe this is happening... Janus actually broke up with me... it.. it hurts so much...

I loved him so so much...
I know we havent been talking a lot but I thought we were okay... why does it hurt so much...

He was my everything... yes I have Logan and Remus but I was with Janus for so long... our second anniversary was only months away...

Is it wrong that I'm as sad as I am..? I mean Logan and Remus are still here for me... I'm still dating them... so I shouldn't be this sad... right..?

But I mean Logan is usually with Roman, since they're dating...

Ugh I hate that my thoughts are as scrambled as they are...

Why didnt i try harder...? If I was judt a better boyfriend Janus wouldn't have broken up with me... I'm so fucking stupid...

I should have tried to talk to him more... fuck...

It hasnt even been a day and I already miss him so much.. but I don't want to talk to Remus or Lo about it... they already didnt really like Jan that much, even if they didnt talk to hin at all...

I just wish I could turn back time... back and fix my stupid mistake..

Maybe this was inevitable but I wish I had tried harder to make sure it didnt happen... I was so afraid of this happening why didnt I try harder...

I want Janus back... yes we're still friends but we were together so long...

I want to try and say "maybe it was for the best" but it doesn't feel that way at all... he was my everything..

Yes this may sound unfair to Re and Lo, especially considering how much Remus has helped me, in some ways more than Janus... but I was with Janus first...

Fuck I sound like an asshole... I do love Remus and Lo, so so much... but... fuck I don't even know anymore..

I just want to stop hurting... it doesnt seem fair to any of them that I'm hurting like this...

I just wish I wasnt so stupid...

I haven't even been able to tell Remus or Logan we broke up yet because Logan is asleep and me and Remus have been playing games with Emile and Remy...

I havent been able to tell basically anyone yet... I want to talk about it, I want to be able to cry and vent to someone... but I cant because that'd be unfair to them... I'm supposed to help people emotionally not be the one having a break down...

I just want to fucking cry...

I want to think that maybe be and Janus will get back together... but that'd just be giving me a false sense of hope and I know it... despite how badly I really want it...

I dont know what I'm doing anymore...

I just want to stop hurting...