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Kaydence Naomii Hicks Baton Rouge, Louisiana Southern University and A&M College April {22}
Not gonna be a lot of he said or she said, it's mainly kaydence talking.
"I'm listening". Kyrie told me as I took a deep breath. "well um as usual everything started when I was a kid". I started to say.
The way my trauma was so clear in my head was so crazy to me, some people have theirs blocked out but me? mine was clear as day. I started to back track in my head thinking about everything that happened to me.
"well um the first thing that happened to me was not knowing who my dad was". I told him. "I watched every one around me have a father and really just wondered where I went wrong".
"my mom... she always thought she didn't owe me an explanation cause I was a kid, but Kyrie I wanted a father, I wanted that and I still do. I needed that, I needed the extra love and support". I told him feeling the tears because this one of the many sensitive topics.
"I got you, I promise". Kyrie reassured me wiping my face, "so as I grew up I was jealous seeing people with they dad, I felt like I wasn't wanted or maybe I just didn't deserve that".
"as you know I'm the oldest, so I started getting cousins after a while and well they had their fathers. so I felt lonely and left out and my mom didn't really care, she swore I didn't need him and that I was exaggerating". I shook my head.
"She always told me she didn't understand why I was so pressed about having a father, when she had father and mother". I said watching Kyrie face I could tell he was a bit upset.
"so growing up without a father, I felt like I was missing a piece of me, she never helped me try to find him or ever told me anything about him. my cousins bragged about their fathers all the time". I explained.
"The people at school would make fun of me, or whenever I argued with somebody they always brought up the fact that my dad could've possibly not have wanted me".
"I let everybody know my weakness and they took advantage of that".
"wow.. I'm.. I'm so sorry Kay, and you deserve to know, whether it was when you were a kid or now". He started to say as I listened.
"and it's wrong for her to even keep that away from you knowing that it was affecting you, and you're an amazing person and I hate that happened to you". He explained.
"you know I'm always in on helping you with whatever I can and I wish this was one of them situations. and if you ever wanna find him maybe, I'm all in on helping". He told me as I smiled.
"and I know I tell you this all the time, you gone forever have me and I mean that". He added. "but I'm ready for you to continue whenever you ready". He stated as I nodded.
"every since I was a kid I was a grandma baby, she treated me like I was a human, so much respect and she was so kind to me".
"She always made sure I was okay and that I never felt left out or anything.. your mom reminds me a lot like her".
