rockstar | gvf

chapter twenty eight:

amber awoke to complete darkness, and when she looked out the window she noticed it was night.

somehow her and josh completely switched positions — amber now being the closest to the curtain and josh to the window.

amber managed to slip out of josh's embrace and into the tour bus hallway, eventually deciding for some fresh air.

she noticed that the tour bus door was unlocked, and when she stepped outside she saw a figure leaning against the tour bus, clouds of smoke floating into the sky.

as amber reached the last step, the figure's head sharply turned to see who the intruder was, but their body relaxed when they realised who it was.

as amber walked closer to the figure, the lamppost shone against his face lowly. she was barely able to make out who it was.

"hello, jake." she said, leaning against the tour bus beside him. 

jake puffed out smoke and looked down to amber.

"what are you doing out here so late?" he asked her.

amber shrugged.

"what about you?" she asked him.

"couldn't sleep." he said.

amber nodded and stared at her feet, a few seconds later jake threw his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it.

"you wanna walk?" he asked her.

"sure." she responded simply, pushing herself off the tour bus.

the two walked down the footpath, still being able to hear the waves crashing from the beach beside them.

"where are we exactly?" amber asked.

"i don't know exactly. we've got a while till we get to the city, but danny just parked it here since it's quiet." jake explained.

amber nodded, "fair enough."

as amber looked up to the sky, she noticed that the stars shone brighter tonight. then she looked to jake and noticed how handsome he looked.

already he was flooding her mind, and she just wishes that josh was the only person on her mind.

jake then stopped by the park bench, sitting down, amber joining him.

"how are the joy's of being in a fake relationship?" jake asked.
"i mean i guess it could be worse but still it's not ideal." amber spoke, and jake nodded simply.
"how long are the two of you doing it for?" he questioned.
"our managers recommended till the end of the american leg." amber said.
"that's if you can handle it for that long." jake said.
"what do you mean?" she asked.

he shrugged his shoulders, "i think it would be hard having to fake feelings and put on this show for the public just so others back off. i'd hate to have to be something else and act a certain way instead of being in a loving relationship."

"it's not all entirely fake, whether he knows that or not. it's just... i don't want to rush things like we have with this whole fake relationship business. i don't want to make any moves unless he makes it clear... i mean i'm still a bit hesitant anyway, i don't really know my own feelings like i said the other night." she explained.

"it'll be hard to achieve that with josh." jake said.
amber looked over to him, and he made eye contact with her, watching as he shifted uncomfortably, continuing on.
"it's just he's a very loveable type of guy, and well even with friends he's really open and in past relationships he's rushed into things quickly. some can handle it, others can't and well... just be careful, and don't be afraid to voice what you want." he said.

she didn't know whether she could trust his judgements or not. it was the fact he was trying to steer her away from josh, and the fact she couldn't tell exactly what he was doing, and why.

amber nodded, "okay."

"but anyway," jake said, "i'm here if you need an escape of sorts, a talk, comfort... whatever, i'll try be what you need."

she looked over to him and smiled softly, his brown eyes meeting hers.

"thank you, jake." she said, "it does seem all a little frantic at the moment. from the tour to the whole thing with josh, i just want to slow down for a minute. you know?"
"i know how you feel. there's so many time's where i forget that a part of my dream was getting hassled by people constantly. i mean i love how everyone is so connected to our music, but people can go to crazy extents to be seen by us and well... i do treasure those moments when i'm back home, just me." he said.
amber nodded, "you summed it up perfectly."
he chuckled softly.

the two sat in a comfortable silence, taking in the view ahead of them.

"how do you like australia so far?" amber spoke up, continuing to look out ahead of her.
"it's amazing, it always is." he said, "especially the people." he added, looking to amber, but soon turning his head away when she found him looking at her.
"that's good to hear. i'm excited to see where you all come from, michigan, right?" amber questioned.
jake nodded, "yeah, a town called frankenmuth. it's really special there."
"you'll have to show me around then." she said, looking over to him.
"only if you show me around your hometown." he said, and this made amber smile.

"you know i never expected you to be so talkative." amber spoke up again.
jake smiled, "why's that?" he asked.
"i don't know... i guess it's because josh is always so out there, you know?" she explained, "and you seem more reserved."

jake looked down to his hands and fiddled with them mindlessly.

"i guess..." he said softly.
"i mean it's not a bad thing." amber quickly defended, "sam said you were more of an observer than someone to speak up and say their mind, and i find i'm like that too so... i understand."

jake looked to amber and smiled, it felt nice to him knowing that someone knows the way his mind works even if he didn't have to explain it.

"i'm glad you do." he said.

amber smiled to him, before noticing the time.

"i should probably head back inside, get some more sleep before tomorrow." she said, standing up, "and you should too, big day ahead."

jake forced a smile, he would spend forever out here talking with her if he could, but he knows he couldn't, as much as he did enjoy spending time with her.

"you're right." he said.

the two walked silently back to the tour bus, and stood awkwardly across from each other beside their bunks, smiling softly and shifting their gaze.

"goodnight." amber finally spoke up, "or good morning."
jake chuckled, "whatever it is."
"yeah, whatever it is." she smiled.
"bye..." she said, before slowly pulling open her curtain, seeing the figure of josh by the window illuminated by the moonlight. she forgot he was there.

jake also noticed josh lying in her bunk and his face dropped. it felt like the moment they had tonight didn't mean much.

"bye." he said softly, turning around and climbing into his bunk.

amber went to go say something else but by the time she turned around jake had already pushed himself into his bunk and closed the curtain.

she didn't even know what she'd say. she didn't owe him an explanation, even though she felt like she did, she felt like he should know.

that he should her mind and heart would move back and forth between josh and him.

and that she hated it.

but she would leave it because she knew jake didn't feel the same.