Exceeding You

Prologue

Prologue
#EY00

I forced myself to smile when some of my classmates congratulated me after the deliberation. Despite their happiness for me, it was so hard for me to feel the same way. Totoo pala talaga yung sinasabi nila na kahit gaano kasaya ang ibang tao para sa'yo, hindi yun sapat na dahilan para maging masaya ka na rin sa sarili mo.

Never consider it as your happiness if it only makes other people happy but not you.

Huminga ako nang malalim at tumayo. Nakipagsiksikan ako sa mga estudyante palabas ng auditorium. Muntik pa akong matapilok kung hindi lang ako nahawakan agad ng isang tao. But I flinched when I saw who it was. It was as if his touch was some sort of scorching metal that could burn me with the way I moved far.

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Sorry." He said but he wasn't even sure what he was sorry for.

Hindi ako nagsalita at naglakad na lang palayo. My reaction says it all. Of all people to encounter with, si Alpas Lozano pa talaga. He's the main reason why I'm feeling this way.

"Anong mukha 'yan?" Aldiera gave me a side glance. Nagpupunas pa siya ng pawis dahil katatapos lang ng training nila sa volleyball.

"What face?"

"Mukha kang namatayan diyan," sagot niya nang hindi nakatingin sa akin. Agad akong napasimangot. This wasn't probably my best day. I won't consider this the worst but really definitely not a day to remember.

"The deliberation is done," I sighed. If there's someone who would understand me the most, I know it's Aldiera. We've been best friends since we were kids and she knows how much I value my studies. Today, she's the first one to know my biggest academic heartbreak.

"I wasn't the Grade 11 overall rank 1 for this semester. . ." I broke the news to her.

Her head immediately turned to me. Mukha siyang hindi makapaniwala. And honestly, that was also my reaction. I did my very best this semester. With high honors pa nga ako, e. It's just that. . . my efforts weren't enough. Nakakainis lang lalo kasi his average is only 0.2 higher than mine. He got 96.75 and I got 96.73. Parang pinaglaruan lang ako ng tadhana.

"Seryoso? Someone ranked first and it's not you?"

I looked at her. "Ulitin mo pa."

"Sorry!" Sumimangot siya bigla sa sinabi ko. "Hindi lang ako makapaniwala. Mula grade 1, you always secured that spot. . ."

"I lost to him by only 0.2," I said.

"0.2?!" OA siyang napatayo sa harap ko. "And him? Like male? With penis?"

My face contorted. Kailangan niya bang sabihin 'yon just to make sure it's a guy?

"He is."

"Okay, and his name is?" she asked with curious eyes.

"Alpas Lozano. From STEM." My lips pressed into a grim line. There's this searing emotion within me whenever I utter his name. I know I shouldn't feel that way because we both worked hard for whatever we achieved. But the fact that he's the only one who got the first spot from me made me feel. . . a little bit mad at him.

"Lozano. . ." She nodded as if hearing his name wasn't shocking at all. She's been studying here since 9th grade. Samantalang ako ay ngayong senior high school lang. She must know him. "He's always the rank 1 in our batch. Kaya pala."

"But I was always our batch's rank 1 in my previous school," sagot ko.

"Yeah but. . ." She looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "He's really smart too so. . ."