Across the Universe: A BFDI Oneshot Collection

Why Are We Here?

Gela-Tynn looked out across the vast expanse of space and sighed. The ship's bridge was empty right now since Commander Venn and the rest of the cadets were in the training room, so he took the opportunity to flop in one of the chairs and clear his head.

So much hectic stuff had happened recently, and he had to admit, it was taking him a good while to process everything. In the last week alone, he'd been cured of a deadly disease, gotten a boyfriend, witnessed more simps than he could count fight over a cardboard standee of one of the other cadets' moms, and heard that Spon-Gee, the supposed weakest link of all of them, was graduating early and being transferred from T1-C, their training ship, to a standard ship. And that had all just been on Leastar.

He planted his face in his hands and exhaled loudly. This was not the kind of action he had been anticipating when he signed up to join the military.

Hiss.

"Hey, Tynn!"

He flinched as the familiar voice of his other closest friend Barf-Bagg rang out through the large and empty room. "Yeah, I'm over here," he called out with a disappointed sigh. "You couldn't have given me a few more minutes?"

"Sorry, man." Bagg shrugged as she walked up to his chair and leaned on it. "But Venn's looking like he's gonna kick you into the ship's orbit if you don't hurry up. The whole bathroom excuse isn't gonna work for much longer, especially since you're cured now."

"Yeah, yeah," Tynn replied.

She stood up and motioned toward the door with her head. "Come on. It's Tip Toe today. I know you like that one." She grinned and started to walk away.

"Hey."

Bagg glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah?" she asked nonchalantly.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

She paused, surprised. Turning around, she noticed that Tynn hadn't even moved. An overwhelming feeling of solemnity washed over her as she remembered how much Tynn had experienced lately and how Gelanytes were used to lives of peace and merriment. It didn't surprise her at all that he was just now reflecting on how staggering life in space could be.

"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" she asked with a wistful sigh of her own, walking back to his chair and placing one hand on her hip. "Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of...some cosmic coincidence, or...is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff?"

She shook her head and softly closed her eyes. "I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night."

Silence reigned over the empty bridge for a few seconds as Bagg decided to do some reflecting of her own. She smiled to herself as she remembered that she helped cure Tynn of his deadly disease...even if she realized that doing so had given her the same one. But she'd already decided how she was going to deal with it, and she wanted nothing more than to cherish the time she had left with him.

"...What?"

Bagg opened her eyes and looked down at Tynn staring back up at her, puzzled. "I meant why are we out here, in this star system?"

Her eyes widened and she immediately flushed in embarrassment. "Oh. Uh...yeah."

"What was all that stuff about God?" he asked, equally concerned and curious.

"Uh...hmm? Nothing."

They stared at each other for a moment longer. "...You wanna talk about it?" Tynn offered.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously though, why are we out here?" Tynn shifted his gaze back in front of him to space and continued, "As far as I can tell, it's just an empty system in the middle of nowhere. No one else coming in or out."

"Mm-hmm."

"The only reason that we set up a position here, is because the Neteos set up a position over there." Tynn pointed into space at a vaguely distinguishable rock in the distance. "And the only reason they have a position over there, is because we have a position here."

"Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other."

"No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our position, they would have two positions in the middle of an empty system. Whoop-dee-forking-doo." He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"What's up with that anyway?" Bagg leaned on Tynn's chair and stared into space with him. "I mean, I signed on to fight space pirates or something cool like that. Next thing I know, Neteo blows up half my planet's system and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of evil meteor creature things."

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"What are they doing?"

Fy-Ree II looked up from his tablet as Bom-Bee peeked over his shoulder from where he was leaning on the training room wall. The other cadets and Commander Venn were standing around and waiting for the two others to join them.

"What?" Ree asked, irritated.

"I said, what are they doing now?" Bee repeated.

Ree groaned and rested the back of his head on the wall. "Bom-Bee, I'm getting so sick of answering that question—"

"You hacked the ship's cameras on your tablet; I can't see anything!" Bee argued back. "Don't gripe at me, because I'm not just going to just stand here and play with my—"

"Okay, okay, look," Ree interrupted as he raised his hand and clenched his fist. "They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five seconds ago. So five seconds from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be, 'They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there'!" Ree glared into Bee's blank eyes, trying his hardest to make his eyes burn brighter than normal with anger.

Bee thought for a moment before his face lit up with an idea. "What are they talking about?"

"...You know what? I really hate you."

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"Talk about a waste of resources," Bagg agreed. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of evil. You know, fight them."

"Yeah, no duh," Tynn scoffed with a smirk. "That's why they should put us in charge."

Hiss.

"Tynn! Bagg!" Commander Venn shouted from the doorway, visibly annoyed. "Training room! On the double!"

Tynn shut his eyes and hung his head. "Ah, darn it..." he mumbled under his breath.

Bagg subtly nodded in agreement, but turned around and started briskly walking out of the bridge. "Yes, sir!"