running to 1st

21st

Jess's pov:
I woke up on the Adams couch, I could barely see. My eyes had been swollen and puffy from crying. If Catherine dies, her family will not function, I will not function. My family never liked me, my mom died- dad beats me, for anything. Anything: home late, belt. Goes to friends house, slapped across the face. And many other things.
I didn't really tell Harper this stuff because I know she would hate to see me suffer. But she never talked about her diabetes, so we are even- I don't talk abt my home, she doesn't talk abt her diabetes. I only talk to Catherine about my home life, when she brings it up.
I don't like when people suffer for me, my dad already makes me suffer for myself. "You are the reason mom left!" Belt whooping, "you don't have friends that care about you." Empty-beer bottle thrown at me, it never ends.

I never go home, my dad doesn't care. I used to have a brother that would stick up for me- until he died. He was in the army, my hero, the guy I looked up to, my role-model: dead. My only family member that cared about me, dead.

I always laugh everything off. I'm not insecure because I don't need to be. I'm tall, blonde, thicker on the bottom, and able to punch someone for self-defense. Or if they piss me off in general. My dad tries to make me feel bad about myself, but I don't care what he thinks about me. Heck, I don't care what anyone thinks about me.

I never sleep at home, I used to. I used to have a lock on my door, but dad thought I would call cps on myself at night. So he took it away. I either slept on the sandlot, benches outside of diners, behind Vincent's, basically anywhere my dad wouldn't find me. I always left my window unlocked for me to get clothes and shower, but I was never in my room. Harper knew I didn't sleep at home, so we always had sleepovers at her house. But I never let Catherine think about me moving in with them.

Catherine cared about me, always did. She knew my mother, pretty well actually. They went to high-school together, then college, never saw each-other. then my mom moved back to Salt Lake City, and then were re-United for 7 years. Then I was born and when I was 5 she died. Not many memories, but some.

I woke up to the sound of harper crying, she was on the phone. I love her, but if she doesn't stop crying imma curb-stomp her. We both had been crying since this morning, this news- heartbreaking.
Harper hung up the phone.

"He didn't, we, we-" Harper began to say, then came more tears.
"We broke up." She spat out. Oh no.
"No, he didn't." I began.
"He said that we would tell our secrets, but I couldn't. I don't know if mrs Rodriguez told him yet." She said quietly.
She doesn't deserve this, this isn't Benny. Lemme check with him.
"Um I gotta go home." I said, she looked at me.
She knew I was lying, "Don't talk to Benny. Please" Harper said.

I walked across the street to Benny's
I knocked on the door, no answer.
I climbed the tree to Benny's window, and looked inside.
I saw him, pacing across his floor. "Hey." I said tapping on his window.
He looked at me, then unlocked his window for me to come in.

"Speak. What's wrong, why'd you break up with her?" I spat at him.
"My dad." Benny said, "yeah? He's dead." I said annoyed.
I don't have compassion at Catherine says. I can see how.
"Yeah, he told me something when I was younger." He continued.
I shook my head for him to go on.
"He said, 'when you find the right girl. Don't break her heart, even if she's going through a rough time, stick with her. It gets better, maybe not for a long time. But it gets better, so be there for her.' But I wasn't there for Harper. I didn't even know she had diabetes. Did I not give her enough attention? Did I never notice that but everyone else did?" Benny said, I stayed quiet.
"Benny, she didn't tell anyone. Your mom and her family knew, that's all. Ham and kenny heard her alert go off late one night at the sandlot. I was standing there and heard their conversation, but I didn't tell her. I knew about her diabetes from Catherine, she told me a few years back. Harper hates bringing it up, you can ask your mom about it more. And you shouldn't have broken up with her, Catherine isn't doing well. I can't say, you have to ask her yourself- face to face. Now I'm going to go comfort her, so you think about what you did. To everyone, even your dad."
I said as I climbed out the window. Then went back to harper, and cried with her more.

-end of chapter-