How I Died [Selected Poem]

DEAR ANOREXIA

I don't really wanted you to be my friend.

But I left no choice, when you grabbed me in your cold bony arms.

Hugging me tightly and not wanting to let go.

—Why?

Why did you choose to befriend me?

When you know, that I ain't a friendly one?

You brainwashed me of your repeatedly words—

‘You are fat!’

‘You are fat!’

‘You are fat!’

Yet I believed your words and thought that you're always right.

Now I find the courage to ask for some clarification.

How dare you throw away the cushions of my stomach?

Tear down the curtains of my hair?

Destroyed the pillars of my leg?

And digged out my buried bones and deliberately show it to everyone?

I was too ashamed of it yet you played me mercilessly.

I just wanted to eat when my stomach growls.

But you always reminded me that I no longer needed to.

Cause you said that I am fat, that I found so real whenever I looked at the mirror.

Skinny, yet seen all the calories I had to get rid of.

But I only wanted to eat, why won't you let me?

Just this time, let me eat my favorite calories without reminding me to count them.