All For Me

thirty

charlotte

"hey mama" i whispered as i touched her hand

i read somewhere online that people in coma's can hear you so why not talk?

she looked so fragile. cords were all hooked up to her like she was a robot charging up or something. her kinky curls were tangled, her brownskin almost pale, and she looked thinner

she looks like a bum

me and harper both sniffled at the same time. harper was rubbing mama's edges, tears rolling down her cheeks

"i miss you already" harper croaked

i swallowed harshly and looked down at mama again

"i havent even gotten to tell you about my night like you told me to tell you..." i wept

i heard harper scoff and looked at her

"what night?"

"i went on a date-"

"so our mother was getting shot and you were on a date" she hissed

"i didnt-"

"didnt know? of course you didnt because you were out on a date with two women like the fucking slut you are" she screamed

my throat went dry as my heart shattered in pieces

"harper, i know youre sad but we can get through this-" i laid my hand on her shoulder softly but she jerked away and looked at me with a angry glare

"i wish it was you that got shot instead of mama" she spat and stormed out of the room

i sobbed loudly and covered my face in shame

what did i do wrong?

you shouldnt have let her go to work this is all your fault, the voice in the back of my head said

but she had to go to work. i couldnt have stopped her, i tried to defend myself

you shouldnt have tried to enjoy life. you shouldve just stayed in your room like you always do. again, this is all your fault, it sneered back

i wiped my eyes and looked down at my mother with teary eyes

"please... come back mama.. i need to see your beautiful smile" i whimpered

i grabbed her hand which was very cold and pressed my lips against it. i grazed at her once more before walking out of the room

i saw scarlet and aiden was distracted in their own hushed conversation so i walked in the other direction. i found a exist and pushed the door open, breathing in the smell of tree's

it settled in my system making my heart slow down just a bit

i turned to my right and started walking around aimlessly- no destination of where i was going in mind i just walked and walked until i couldnt anymore.

until my feet ached and my calves burned

until my gut hurt and stomach tightened

until everything in my body went numb