Number 180
Alastor: I could kill you if I wanted to.
Anthony: Yeah? So could another human being.
Anthony: So could a dog.
Anthony: So could a dedicated duck.
Anthony: You ain't special, Al.
Number 181
Anthony: It's not gay if I want to date Alastor, right? Like in a friend way? Like, I want to make him happy, and laugh, and cuddle him, because he deserves the world.
Audrick: I'm no expert, but that sounds pretty gay.
Cherri: I'm an expert, and that is pretty gay.
Number 182
Charlie: Alastor is a complicated person.
Alastor: No, I'm a bad person. There's a difference.
Number 183
Alastor: *walking into the kitchen* Is something burning?
Anthony, seductively leaning over the counter: Only my desire for you.
Alastor: Anthony, the toaster is on fire.
Number 184
Anthony, holding a bowl of cereal in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other: What if… instead of milk in my cereal… I put coffee?
Alastor, taking the pot away: What if you didn't?
Number 185
Vaggie: That's it, you're all grounded! Husk, no booze, Angel, no drugs! Alastor, no-
What do you even like?
Alastor: Revenge.
Vaggie: Then no revenge!
Alastor: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I suppose that's off the table now, isn't it?
Number 186
Anthony: My hands are cold.
Alastor: *holds hands*
Anthony: …Y'know, what, for some reason my lips are getting cold too.
Number 187
Charlie: Be nice!
Alastor: I am!
Charlie: You threatened them with a knife!
Alastor: Well I didn't stab them!
Number 188
Anthony: *does something cute*
Alastor, under his breath: I'm in love with you.
Anthony: What?
Alastor, panicking: I SAID I'M SELLING YOU TO THE ZOO-
Number 189
Anthony: Truth or dare?
Alastor, exasperated: Truth.
Anthony: Do you wanna kiss me?
Alastor: Dare.
Anthony: *leans in* I dare you to kiss me.
Alastor: Never have I ever-
Anthony: That's not the game!
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HELLO, FRIENDS, I HAVE AN INSTAGRAM, AND YOU GUYS SHOULD FOLLOW ME, I'LL BE POSTING WRITING UPDATES AND ALSO TONS OF ART THAT I DONT POST HERE. (Username is pjofan10042)
I like to think that for 180 Al was trying to be somewhat seductive, but Tony made it weird.
Anyways, tell me what you guys think!
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Holy shit, I just realized I robbed you guys of like nine quotes, so I'm just gonna go ahead and put them here so we're all happy.
Number 21
Angel: Short stack, you know I was-
Alastor: Stop it with the nicknames!
Angel: ...
Alastor: How would you like it if I gave you stupid nicknames you hate?
Angel: Go ahead. Give me one.
Alastor: …
Angel: …
Alastor: … Axe Body Spray…?
Angel: You fucking take that back.
Number 22
Charlie: What do you think Angel is going to do for a distraction?
Vaggie: He'll probably make a noise are throw a rock or something, that's what I would do
[Buildings explode and several car alarms sound]
Alastor: Or he could do that.
Number 23
Alastor to some demon: And this is my ex boyfriend.
Angel: Can you please stop calling me that?
Angel: I'm his fiance.
Number 24
Sign: Don't touch the glass
Angel: *punches glass and shatters it* No fucking sign controls me!
Alastor: You're bleeding.
Angel: Yes, but with freedom.
Number 25
Alastor: This year I lost my dear lover Angel.
Angel: Quit telling everyone I'm dead!
Alastor: You are dead.
Number 26
Charlie: Who do you three think you are?
Alastor: I'm gorgeous.
Vaggie: I'm drop.
Angel: And I'm dead.
Alastor: And together we make the ultimate trio!
Vaggie: But separate we-
Angel: I'm still dead, Vaggie has dropped to the floor crying, and Alastor is still gorgeous.
Charlie: I- do you need a hug?
Number 27
Angel: Can you do me a favor?
Alastor: I would cover up a murder for you, I would place false evidence at the crime scene and take the blame for you but go on.
Angel: Cool, can you do the dishes?
Alastor: No
Number 28
Alastor: Just be yourself.
Angel: Be myself? Alastor, I have one day to win over your mom. How long did it take before you guys started to like me?
Charlie: Couple of weeks
Husk: Six months
Vaggie: The jury is still out
Angel: See Alastor? "Be myself" what kind of garbage advice is that?
Number 29
Niffty: There are ten people and seven chairs. What do you do?
Vaggie: Everyone stands.
Charlie: Bring in three more chairs.
Angel: The best seven of the group gets to sit down.
Alastor: Kill three.
Like damn, these are some good ones, how did I just forget?
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Oneshots, Headcanons, and incorrect quotes.
FanfictionMostly radiodust, I will admit. thanks to @AngelTeaofFanfic for this idea, and yeah. That's it
