-this december-

-chapter 24-

December 4th
Tweek POV

you knew he'd never like you. why did you keep deluding yourself?

stop being selfish. he'll be happy with this girl, like he never could with you.

i know, i know.

it's hard to block out these thoughts, no matter how hard i try. i can't even work, that's how much it hurts.

i told them i don't feel well. they said ok, and my mom looked at me sympathetically. i think they think i got into a fight with craig. it's not a bad guess, as i have been trying to avoid him.

i'm sitting in the storage room, head buried in my knees, hair clenched in my hands, trying to think about anything other than craig and my stupid, stupid feelings.

my phone buzzes. i grab it from beside me, desperate for a distraction. it's craig. just my luck!

space nerd <3: hey dude
space nerd <3: are you ok??
space nerd <3: i know you're avoiding me

i hesitate. telling him anything might give away my feelings. and then he'd hate me. like i always feared.

my phone buzzes again.

space nerd <3: you don't have to tell me, i know it's hard to talk about feelings
space nerd <3: but i am your friend and i care
space nerd <3: a lot

oh jesus.

i almost wish he hadn't said that.

now my eyes are filling with tears and i can't stop them.

god dammit.

"i'm so fucking stupid!" i mutter to myself. "why did i ever have to fall for him."

"for who?"

i jerk my head up. craig.

"wha-what are you doing here?" i ask, wiping my eyes and cheeks.

his hands are shoved in his pockets and he looks away. "you usually respond to my texts right away unless you're super upset so..." he clears his throat. "i wanted to make sure you're ok. which you're not."

i grimace. "no, i'm fine," i tell him. he obviously doesn't believe it.

he sits down next to me and awkwardly puts a hand in my shoulder. "you can tell me the truth," he says. his monotone voice is oddly relaxing. i love him so much. i wish i could just-

"i like you."

he blinks.

"what?"

oh god oh fuck

what am i saying???

"i like you. like romantically," i repeat. i wince, preparing for him to yell at me or slap me or something. but he sits there.

"oh."

i bite my lip. there's nothing i can do but wait.

"y-you do?" he asks, bewildered.

"yea."

"oh. oh my god," he laughs, but it doesn't seem mean. he just sounds surprised. "i'm so sorry, i just never thought i had a chance in hell with you. i- i like you too. like a lot. and i guess clyde was right and i should apologize and holy shit." he turns to me, mocha skin bright red, and i can't believe it.

i hug him. "i guess we're both pretty idiotic, huh?" i laugh.

he chuckles and nods against my shoulder.

we pull back, looking at each other. oh god, he's so amazing. i love him.

"it's ok if i kiss you, right?" i ask. i feel incredibly confident in myself now, for no apparent reason, all anxiety washed away.

he nods quickly, chullo hat sliding off his head. i grin and quickly press my lips to his, pulling his hat off the rest of the way. my hands rest at the base of his neck, while his come up to grip my forearms.

the feel of his skin, the soft movement of his lips against mine, it all feels like a dream. the best dream in the world.

i pull away much too soon for my liking. his face is even redder than before and i'm sure i have a blush to match.

"i, uh- wow," he says.

"yea, that," i smile back at him. he laughs and i follow. we sit there, foreheads touching, holding hands, laughing, in the storage room of my parents coffee shop.

and it feels better than anything in the world.