STAMP OF APPROVAL - a selection story

dating is harder than it looks

C H A R L O T T E

written by animationchic/aOK706

round two ||

January 2nd

12:01am

"So what do you think of them? Who is your standout?" Hellie asks through the computer and I'm already shaking my head.

"Helena, I just met them. Some of them I have literally only said one sentence to," I tell her, my eyebrows scrunching so deeply you can see the lines in the dark and through the screen.

"Stop making that face or you'll get stuck like that," Hellie says without thinking. She rolls her eyes at me and grins. "But come on, tell me. Who do you like?"

"Hellie you're just as bad as Nat—"

"You could stand to think more like Nat during this—"

"What, boy crazy?" I ask, a bit incredulous.

"Yes!" she beams at me and then winces.

"What's wrong?" I ask, suddenly concerned and frustrated that my sister is half a world away.

"Nothing, I'm just getting so big that sitting is uncomfortable again," Hellie tells me and as she shifts I can see her baby belly. A pang shoots through my heart at seeing her like this. She's pregnant with my second niece or nephew (I think it's completely ridiculous that they won't find out the sex of the baby, but hey, to each their own. Personally I hope she has a girl next.) and I still haven't even met Augusto. And he's four now. She sends me photos, but it's not the same. He's a whole person that's related to me and I haven't even met him yet.

Hellie turns back to the screen, to me and sighs. "Charlotte, you have thirty-five—"

"Thirty-four," I correct her. "I didn't tell you about Kylan?" I could have sworn I had emailed her about it.

"You did, yes." She nods and I can see how tired this pregnancy is making her. "Thirty-four men vying for your attention. If there ever was a time to be boy crazy, it's now."

"Wynnie and Hen said the same thing," I tell her, smiling just slightly.

"Clearly it's good advice." She smiles and her smile makes me miss her even more. "So what's stopping you?"

"I don't want my hormones or my emotions to make this decision. There is no going back on this," I tell her, voicing my deepest fears for the first time. "I don't want to make the wrong choice."

"Charlotte," Helena's voice changes and I can tell the concerned older sister acts are coming back. I know she still loves me and still wants the best for me but I'm still not over her disappearing act. It's childish of me to keep hanging onto this, I know but I can't help it. Everytime she wants to play the older sister, one part of me appreciates it and the other part resents it. I don't interrupt her this time though, I let her voice her concern. But I wasn't expecting the question she asks next, "Are you more worried about letting yourself down or Dad?"

I suck in an inhale, unsure how to answer. Because right now, I'm not sure. Dad isn't just Dad. He's the nation and the people and everything all wrapped into one. So even if I let Dad down, I'm letting everyone and everything else down too. It's so hard to separate it.

At my silence, Hellie sighs. "Charlotte I get it. I know how he is and I know you've been under more pressure ever since everything happened. I hope you know how sorry I am for it, I really truly am. But this is for you and you are the only opinion that matters here. This is hopefully your future husband. And if he isn't in this batch, then there are other men out there. Do not settle."