The trouble with drugs is that no matter how much pain and misery they put you through, they become a part of you. And you will always want to go crawling back.
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t r i a l s o f t h e p a s t
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♕Aaron♛ Hate and regret is all I've ever known. Since the day I came kicking and screaming into this world up until this very second, real love has been unknown to me. It's just a foreign concept. I try to avoid possible encounters with it at all costs, considering my older brother, Amir, who taught me that love is a hurtful and vengeful emotion that only fúcks you over.
Love makes you happy for the moment. When shít happens, you'll regret it all. He saw what it did to my mother and father and how it affected him and I. I still remember the time he swore that he would never fall for a bítch.
I watched my hypocrite of a brother fall in love eight weeks later.
On the days he actually came home, Amir would always show up late, looking like a smitten fool with a ginormous smile plastered on his pathetic face. I respected my brother, you know. He was the only nígga who genuinely frightened me; if I ever said something slick, brass knuckles were on their way. But, damn was he stupid as fúck.
He was blinded by her blonde hair and giant brown eyes. In the end, her beauty was only there to disguise the gun hidden behind her back. He forgot the dangers of fúcking another gang member's sister, and look where it got him.
That nígga is screaming in hell right now, I'm sure, requesting a do-over like he always did whenever he placed a bet and lost. She's probably down there with him because of me, but I have no regrets.
That's why I try to stay as far away from romantic females as I can. Because love's a sneaky little bítch that will creep up on you at Starbucks, Walmart, at your fúcking school. I saw what it did to my mother, my father and now my brother.
The only people I love are Matt and Kian, for the sake of them being my best friends and they're stuck with me forever, whether they like it or not. It's the unspoken rule. It doesn't matter how many times we get into petty ass arguments and fights, they're not leaving unless I kick them out. Matt can handle my attitude, mood swings, the words I always say but never mean, all because he's used to me. But then again, they are family to me.
