Allegro con fuoco

XXXVIII

He had no idea how long they stood there for, but he knew he had to give her time, now that she was here. Now that she wasn't running. The next time she turned to him her eyes were full of tears. When had he last seen his mum cry?
"Was it... it wasn't something I did wrong?" she asked him softly and he shook his head.
"No. I was born this way."
"Oh, Eddy." she sobbed suddenly, and she lurched forward and buried her head in his chest. After a beat he folded his arms around her and held her.
"Mama." he whispered against her hair.
He could feel the anger he had felt yesterday, somewhere very deep down, but what was there , really, to be angry at? The woman he was holding, though formidable in her own way, was just as damaged, just as shaped by her own past, as he was. Or maybe more so.
Some weight he hadn't known he carried on his shoulders lifted off and blew away in the mild breeze.
"Mama?"
She let him go and looked up at him with red, weary eyes. 
"I... it's so hard to believe." she told him. 
"I get that. I'm just the same though, mum. The boy you comforted. And his partner, who you've known forever. We haven't changed. I get... you're worried about what the world will think."
She looked up at him soberly, then she shook her head. 
"I was. I would. I... I don't know."
"Are you... are you worried about me? At all?"

Her eyes opened wide and she seemed to catch herself. 
"It's... it's all I've ever done."
The shadow of the lava inside of him extinguished more at her soft, urgent words. He managed to smile at her.  
"See, you don't have to anymore, mama. I... I'm happy, now. I'll be even happier if we can be ourselves around you."
"I'm sorry." she whispered then, and his heart skipped a beat, because was she going to say no? I never will accept that? But then she put a hand on his chest. "I'm sorry, Eddy. I should have done better. I'm so sad that you lived through that, because of what I was raised to believe."
Tears were flowing down both their cheeks now. Eddy could barely believe what he had just heard. She was apologising? 
"Does... what does that mean, mum?"
She nodded firmly and seemed to catch herself again. 
"It means I'm going to try. Oh, my God, my brothers are going to kill me. But I'll try, Eddy. For you, I'll try. I'm sorry. You're right. I would have stopped you from seeing him. I would have. I'm sorry you felt you had to hide from me because of that. I'm sorry it hurt you."

The earth shook around him, everything fading out in some sort of big bang inside him, then formed anew as he stared at this face, the face that had scolded him, pushed him, loved him. 
Held him. 
"Can... can I call Brett?"
She nodded, and he called out his love's name. It only took him seconds to burst through the door, and he looked awful. 
"Bretty." Eddy said as he held out his hand. Brett stepped forward hesitantly, and he pulled him in, hugged him, stroked his back. This was no best friend hug, no, this was a lovers kind of hug. 
Because there was going to be no hiding, ever again. 
"I'm sorry we took so long." he whispered in Brett's ear, before letting go. 
"That's okay." Brett said in his sober tone. "How are things here?"
"Hello Brett." his mum said. "Your mother had many good things to say about you yesterday."
"Oh, really? I... I'll thank her." 
Why was this so very awkward? His worlds were colliding here, one old, one new. One he'd pushed away for ages. Would he still? 
Then his mum held out her hand to Brett, and Brett took it, his large eyes impossibly wide. 
"I have come to understand some things about... your relationship. I... I want to say I apologise. And I have told Eddy I will try to accept it."

Has he seen Brett's mouth fall open like this before? He wasn't sure, but right now he was beyond being able to think, anyway. So he simply opened both his arms, pulled her in, pulled him in, and he stood there, the sun beating down on him, the world around him just the same as it had been an hour ago. 
But nothing inside of him would ever be the same anymore.