Allegro con fuoco

X

Fuck, why was Trevor so big? So European, clearly fit, and so big that Eddy was scared about what he would do. He took big steps through the hallway, Eddy following him with twice as many, and suddenly Eddy found he was back in that little alcove he had spoken to Todd in just yesterday. 
"I'm sorry to whisk you away like that, but I need to talk to you." Trevor started as he sat down on the very spot Todd had sat in. But how different the circumstance. Eddy hesitated for a moment, then sat down too. I mean, what could he do?
"Do you like Anna?" Trevor said then, his voice so bleak that Eddy had to stop himself from putting a hand on him, like he would with his friends. 
"Trevor, please." he said. "Not that way. I like her, just as a friend. You really don't have anything to worry about."
"Then why are you so skittish, huh? And why is she all over you the whole time?"
"I'm not skittish, Trevor. It's not like that."
Trevor looked away, down the hallway to where the practice space was. 
"Like hell it is. Look, I know what it's like. You two are alike, similar backgrounds. I get it. But I love her, you know."
"Trevor... really, you have nothing to worry about."
"I don't believe you." Trevor said, so loudly Eddy was scared people would hear, would come find them. "You don't know, Eddy, for you she may just be some fresh meat, but I... I'm... I'm in this for the long haul."
It was a confession, Eddy knew that right away. Trevor looked down at his knees, defeated, deflated. All at once he didn't seem so big anymore and Eddy took his first real breath since Trevor had touched him in the auditorium. And there it was, that spark, that little glimmer of something that had been growing in him. He could cry again, thinking about how much they had hidden, and how hard it was. How easy it was, by comparison, for Todd and Ian. But he was stronger now. He nodded to himself and took another deep breath. 
"Look, you just have to take it from me, Trevor. Anna and I are just friends, and will always be just friends, nothing more."
Trevor looked up at him now, his blue eyes worried, but soft. And the spark grew. So Eddy nodded again. In the end... did it really matter? Could he live forever, the way they had? 
"You can keep your mouth shut, about things?" he said softly, watching closely as the bleakness on Trevor's face was replaced by confusion. 
"What things?"
"Trevor, look. I'm not straight. But I'm not out, either. Alright? So please, keep that to yourself, okay?"

It would have been comical to watch, if it wasn't all so serious, the puzzle pieces clicking together on Trevor's expression. 
"Wait. You're gay?"
Eddy shrugged and nodded at the same time. 
"Fuck, mate, you're gay? Why are you not out?"
Eddy scoffed. 
"You said it yourself. I have a certain background."
"Dude! How long have you known about this?"
Eddy scoffed again. 
"Since I was fourteen?"
"Jesus fucking Christ, mate! That's awful! Wait... you... what, shit, are you and Brett... um?"

See? This right here was exactly the problem. If someone knew he was gay, he also knew he was with Brett. It was an instant thing. Eddy sighed and nodded. 
"Yeah. Also since about then."
"And Anna... she knows?"
Eddy nodded. "Yeah. She was just respecting what I'd asked her to do, not to tell anyone."

Everything had changed about Trevor within seconds. He actually looked a bit like Todd, suddenly, now that the testosterone rush was over. 
"I'm so sorry, Eddy." he said quietly, embarrassedly. "I guess I acted like an idiot. I... I got jealous, and I made you tell me something you didn't want to say. Really, I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Eddy said quickly, and to his surprise he meant it. "I had talked about it with Brett before. It's fine, just... please, no gossip, okay?"
"Never." Trevor said, and something relaxed in Eddy when he saw that he meant it too. "We're all good?"
Eddy smiled and got up as Trevor did. 
"Yeah, we're all good."
Trevor hugged him unexpectedly, a strong, manly hug with a huge thump on the back. Then he followed him back to the auditorium. His mind was reeling, but what he had said to Trevor, he found, was true. 
They were all good.