Sacrifice

Rage

It's been 3 weeks.... Zoro hasnt gotten any better. Only worse. His lungs are the worst. Having them collasped and fighting to get any air was hard to watch. Knowing that he is fighting for his life makes it feel like I'm fighting for mine too. Hopeless. Sad. Broken. I've finally came to terms with my feelings but going into the infirmary was almost impossible since everyone wants to see Zoro. I wanna talk to him. I want to tell him how I feel but at the same time, expressing these feelings terrify me. Knowing I'm not getting anywhere with just thinking to myself, I leave the galley after writing down lists of stuff we need and head to talk to Robin. Getting closer to the room, I feel myself shaking with every step getting closer. Stopping in front of her door, I go to knock on her door just to see an arm come out and open the door for me. I chuckle lowly realizing she's probably been watching me for a while now.

"Care to talk Cook? Ever since you burned eggs I've been keeping an eye on you just incase you know." she says with a caring grin. "N-No it's fine. You wouldn't be you if you weren't watching someone on the ship. Anyways, I came here to talk to you about you know what."
I say while keep my gaze casted to the floor. I take a few steps in the room and sit down while Robin closed the door and sits across from me.

"Oh you mean you loving Zoro? Honestly Cook, I think it would be best to tell him now. We don't know what will happen here in the next few days and you waiting to tell him might be your biggest regret." Hanging on to her every word my emotions crash into me like a tsunami. Could he really not pull through? It's serious if even Robin doesn't know. She knows everything and her hunches are always right. I hope this one's wrong. Please. "I-I'm scared. What if he wakes up hating me even more? I-I can't deal with him hating me more than he does." I can feel my hands trembling in my lap just thinking about it. Knowing that he'll hate me when he wakes up, I can't handle it. "I know it's hard cook, But wouldn't it be better having Zoro here and hate you, then him not be here at all?" I freeze. Knowing that the possibility of him not being hearing at all gives me chills all the way down my spine. It gives me a bad itch that I can't scratch.  I slowly look up to Robin. "I don't want to lose him at all. If he dies, I-I'd lose a piece of myself." Showing the unshead tears my face to Robin.

"Oh Cook, you need to go in there. I'll kick everyone out and make sure you get alone time to talk to him okay? You need to do this not just for him but for yourself too okay?" She says with concern in her voice. I nod my head getting ready to ask another question until someone knock on the door quitely. Robin moves to go open it only to be met with a trembling Luffy who tried to, not so subtely, hide the tears streaming down his face. Robin gasps at what she sees asking if Luffy is okay.

"chopper wants all to meet in the galley.....h-he has n-n-news for us." Luffy says it with no emotion in his other than sorrow. Avoiding mine and Robins gaze, he walks away silently. Luffy being like that is never a good sign. And why did Chopper want meet with all of us at on- I gasp. My shaking hands go to cover my open mouth while tears start to fill in my eyes. Nothing can stop the sobs coming from my mouth as all I can think is, NONONONONONONONONO He's n-not right? H-He can't. "R-Robin.... You d-don't think?" I stop myself from finishing. All Robin does was look to me with fear. She grabs my unused hand and pulls me up to leave. Wiping my tears I follow behind to the galley.

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With everyone sitting down we are all silent. Waiting for the news that Chopper has for us. All of us can hear Luffy quitely sniffling while looking at the table. The rest of us knowing it's what Chopper is gonna tell us doesn't make it sound super promising. Hearing the door opening, we all slowly look up to see a distressed looking reindeer. Poor guy looks like he hasn't slept in days. Watching him stumble his way towards the center of the table, he looks down and clears his throat.

"U-Um s-so uh Sorry. This is just really hard." Chopper whispered out shaking. He cleard his throat again and began talking to finish his announcement. "I did as many tests and give him a-as much m-medicine that I c-could. H-He isn't getting any better and he is only living off the medicines that I have been giving him. Keeping h-him like this I can only imagine is putting him in more pain. S-So I-I talked to Luffy." After finsihing that Chopper finally let his sobs out still trying to explain. "Luffy and I decided to give Zoro 3 more days of treatment. A-After those 3 d-days, i-if nothing helps. W-We w-will be l-letting him g-go..." By the time he was done no one can console the reindeer. He had dropped to his knees a long time ago crying into his tiny little hooves. Everyone is silent. No one daring to say a word knowing that when they would their mouth, the pain of losing someone they loved would come out. I felt rage. Rage in Luffy and Chopper. Rage in myself for losing so much precious time with him. H-He c-can't. H-He wo-won't. Right? Before I even realize what I'm doing, with the most venom in my voice to hide the wavering, I grit out, "get out of my kitchen." Keeping my head low I point ot do the door trying to keep my hand as steady as possible. I'm going to lose it. I need everyone to get away. Please just leave me alone. "You guys go on outside. We'll be out in a mintue." I shudder realizing how serious of a tone Luffy was using, I know this conversation wasn't going to end well. Keeping my back turned, I try calming my breathing. "Sanji. He's going to die." I gasp slowly turning my head. "Y-You're LYING WHY WOULD YOU OUT OF ALL PEOPLE SAY SHIT LIKE THAT? DO YOU NOT GIVE A FUCK THAT YOU'RE FIRST MATE? HUH? DO YOU?" At this point I'm inconsoleable. Tears and snot streaming down my face while I grab Luffy by the collar. He looks up to me with fury in his eyes, "OF C-COURSE I DO! YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT HOW ZORO AND I WERE. YOU COULDN'T STAND BEING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM WHY DO YOU CARE SO FUCKING MUCH HUH?" I whimper as the tears won't stop knowing what Luffy said was true. I let go of Luffy slowly taking a step backwards. "You really love him... don't you Sanji?" Luffy asks waiting for the next explosion knowing its coming and coming quick. I let a sob out shaking my head, "I haven't even gotten to tell him yet. A-AND YOU AND CHOPPER WANT TO LET HIM SLIP AWAY." I growl. Luffy looks at me expecting blows and blows they come. Just not in the form he was expecting. Using my fists. I swing my clenched hand as hard as I could towards Luffy's face who just layed there expecting it. After 3 more swings, the pain in my hands becomes too much as I cry out what felt like the last part of my soul. When I go to swing again, Luffy stops me. "ENOUGH SANJI. THIS ISN'T GONNA HELP YOU." Ripping myself from his arms I whip around to kick through a cabinet. Screaming, I lost sight in myself. I destroyed almost everything in thar kitchen. Food, dishes, cabinets, alcohol. Everything. After a second, I feel Luffy's arms wrap around my body. Fighting from his grasp was difficult especially knowing that he's the only thing keeping you pieced together.

"Sanji....please stop fighting me. I k-know how it hurts. I-I don't want to lose him either. H-He's my best friend." Luffy sobs into the back of my neck. I nod my head to acknowledge. I cradle my face in my hands as my weakended knees give out against Luffy. I lean forward while Luffy is still trying to hold me up, I lose my last bit of composure and just scream. Scream so loud that you could probably hear it in Alabasta. I peak over my shoulder after hearing movement thinking someone was coming in. At first, I was met with Luffy's cold stoic eyes. Looking like as if his happiness and warmth got sucked out of him and as if I'm see through. "I-I love him Luffy. I don't want to let him go. I-I haven't even been able to tell him yet." I broke my whisper out. All he does is hold me tighter, almost as if he knows that if he lets go, I will fall apart. I turn a little more as I now realize my head is in his neck. Keeping his arms wrapped around me multiple times to keep me steady, I know I should feel uncomtfortable but, Luffy has a way of comforting anyone if they need it. He is the capatin after all. I slowly move my hands to wrap around his waist knowing he will let me get comfortable however I want to try to help. My head dropped into his shoulder trying to steady my breathing. My body hurts. especially my chest. More like my heart. And my head. Seeing as my breath has calmed I begin to feel exhaustion take over. I fight it after hearing the galley open I slowly look to see Robin and Chopper running towards us. Feeling more and more exhaustion take over. I slowly slip into unconciousness before Robin and Chopper could reach Luffy and I.

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Hey there guys! Just have a quick question for everyone. Do you guys prefer long chapters or short? I know ads suck on this app so I've been trying to make longer chapters so you can read more and have less ads. Either way Just let me know in the comments which you guys prefer and I hope you liked it! <3