Sacrifice

Snapped

3 days. It has been 3 days since Zoro has woken up. 3 days since everything has changed. 3 days since I tuned out everything but pure anger and self-hatred. I'm currently in the galley writing out meal plans for the day. Thankful that we are suppose to hit an island by the end of the night, I can make do with what I have left for food. I wasn't able to do anything at the last island other than rush and grab supplies so hopefully, I can get a day by myself when we anchor. As I'm writing, I hear sounds coming from on the deck. Luffy and Usopp fishing, Chopper yelling at Zoro to keep his bandages on, Franky hitting god know what with a hammer, and Brook strumming quietly on his violin. Half of me feels at ease at the normalcy that is surrounding me. While the other half wants to curl into a ball and cry for the next 10 years.

I continue to write for a few more hours while taking count of the inventory that is left. After count is done, I walk out to the still noisy deck and light up a cigarette. I scan the deck seeing as everyone is out here and look out to see the sun is already beginning to set. Well that happened a lot quicker than I thought.

"Dinner will be done shortly. We'll eat before we leave the ship to save money on eating out. All I have left are things to make ramen so that's what we will be having." I see them all nod and Luffy jump in the air in excitement. "You know, I think your Ramen is the only thing I'm able to choke down that you make shit-cook." I glare at the ground after hearing the Swordsman statement. This arguing is just too exhuasting at this point. I don't feel like doing this anymore. Knowing that he is waiting for a rebuttle back, all I do is turn back around and walk into the galley. As I'm walking, I hear footsteps following me. Knowing who it is, I hold the door open for them while keeping my gaze casted to the floor. I sigh and start making my way to grab the supplies to make dinner.

"You're gonna have to talk to him sooner or later you know. You can't just go on pretending that everything is okay. I can see what it's doing to you and it's not good." I cringe at the worry in her voice. I know what I'm doing is just hurting myself more. I just can't find the words for him or find a way to say them. He'll just make fun of me for it and then I'll just be more miserable than now. I come out of my thoughts when I see a droplet land onto the counter infront of me. Realizing that I am now crying, I quickly wipe the tears and sniffle lightly trying to hide the fact that I was crying in the first place. "I know Robin. It's just hard. The way he's been talking to me makes me even wonder if he wants me part of the crew to begin with. I just need a break." I'll admit, I am tired. I am tired of the fighting. Tired of the sleepless nights or nightmares. Tired of all the insulting. Just....tired

I don't know how much time went by but I'm glad it has. Robin left me to finish dinner a little bit ago stating she had to talk to Nami about something. I pull out bowls to put the Ramen in and begin filling them up as even as I can. As I'm just about to finish, I see Nami walk through the door.

"My dear Nami! What can I do for yoooouuuuuu~" I try to act as in love as I can. Damn doing this is actually difficult now. I see her walk towards me with something in her hands. "Robin came and talked to me about somethings. I'm giving you your allowance in private so people don't get the idea that this is common. It's a little more than usual so you can get a hotel room for just yourself. We should be docking soon so once everything is ready I want you going on ahead. I've noticed changes in you to Sanji. You don't argue with Zoro anymore and the bags under your eyes tells me you aren't sleeping either. I may be stingy when it comes to money but you or anyones health is more important. So, take the extra and don't tell a soul." I stare at her with my eyes wide. "T-Thank you Nami. I truly do appreciate it. More than you will know" I give her a small smile. "Call everyone for dinner please! It's perfect timing since I just heard Franky said we made it to the island." She nods her head and leaves to grab the rest of the crew.

Thank god we made it to the island. I want to be by myself and this is the only way I'm gonna be able to do it.

I finish setting the Ramen on the table as everyone starts walking in. I go back to start cleaning up scraps to make it easier for later when a certain Green-Haired Swordsman starts making his comments again. "This food better be edible cook. Usually I have to choke down whatever you give us" With his statements I continue to ignore him as my patience is starting to wear thin. "I kinda like you mute cook. None of us have to listen to the garbage you spew whenever you try to say you're stronger than me. We all know if you got attacked like how I was. You wouldn't have stood a chance at surviving." My breath catches in my throat at his words while I look to Robin and see her eyes of concern. Why can't he just shut up?! To give him a response all I do is shake my head in disagreement. "What's wrong cook? Cat got your tongue? Or is it that we all know you were hoping I would croak over so you could take my place?" I hear Robin and even Luffy gasp at his words and I finally snap whipping my head to face him.

"GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT SWORDSMAN. YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING. ALL YOU DO IS PICK AND PICK AND PICK UNTIL NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT ANYMORE. I'M TIRED ZORO. FUCKING EXHAUSTED. AND YOU AREN'T HELPING. IF YOU DON'T WANT THE FOOD THEN DON'T EAT IT. I HAVE MORE SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT THEN YOU DECIDING IF YOU WANT TO EAT MY COOKING OR NOT." By the end of my blow out, I have Zoro by the front of his shirt. The room completely silent at my words while Zoro just stares at me eyes wide. I let go of home and turn to walk out the door. I open it half way while everyone is still staring at me worried. "I-I......I don't care anymore. You want to eat, that's fine. You don't want to eat, it's all good. I can't keep doing this so. Do what you want. I'm done arguing with you about it."  With that I walk out and slam the door behind me. I rush to the Men's quarters to pack up a bag for the hotel I will be staying in for a few nights. I pack random clothing as I'm just trying to grab things and get out before I break down and someone walks in. After I pack, I grab a box a cigarettes and walk out the door through the deck and onto to the island infront of me.

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Zoro's POV

Well, that was new. Did I really push him that far? Usually he just says something back.

I look around at everyone as they all stare at the door in shock. Even I'm a little shocked at his out burst. That hasn't happened before. I see Luffy break out of his shock and turn to look at me.

"Everyone get out. Grab the food and take it outside and stay away from the door. Zoro and I need to talk." My eyes widen at the seriousness in Luffy's voice knowing that usually means something's wrong. I see everyone grab a bowl and walk out the door. Keeping my eyes on Luffy's serious form, I finally ask, "I-Is there something the matter Captain?"

I see Luffy nod his head slightly at my question. "Yeah Zoro and I don't like it. I don't like fighting on my crew like this. When this conversation is over, you are going to do something wether you like it or not."

I gulp at his statement. "A-And what is that?"

"You WILL be apologizing to Sanji."