Sacrifice

Realization

Silence is all that can be heard. No one knowing what to say. Wait....no. Please. This cannot be happening. Staring down at my plate, I've completely lost my appetite. I get up abruptly storming out of the galley. Not noticing the shocked faces as I leave. In a blind rage, I walk to the infirmary and lock the door behind me. I aggressively walk towards but stop. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes begin to water. Slowly going forward to the bed where he lies I drop to my knees in front of him. Leaning into the bed with my face in my arms.

"Y-you damn idiot! You can't just lay like this! Get up. W-we haven't had our last fight yet! You haven't become the best swordsman yet. I haven't seen the All Blue yet and YOU were supposed to be there dammit." At this point I broke my sobbing into the edge of the bed. Feeling as if someone ripped my heart through my chest. As if part of me left when we heard the news. Alone. Heartbroken. Piece by piece I'm slowly falling with no way of getting back up. It isn't supposed to end this way. W-why do I care so much? Has these feelings been here the whole time? I-I love him. I love him and he doesn't even know or might not ever know. Trying to control my breath, I pick my head up staring at him. I slowly take in his features the small scars on his face, the bandages wrapping him from neck to feet, and the slow labored breaths he's taking. It's painful to watch. As I'm trying to gather my thoughts, I can hear jiggling from the door handle. I collect myself and get up to get the door. I unlock it and slowly open it with my head down.

"Sanji. What are you doing?" Nami asks with everyone behind her.

"I'm taking watch for him tonight. You guys need sleep and I've had plenty so I'm staying here to watch." Talking this much feels like the most work I've ever done.

"O-okay. We all had a plan that anyone who doing watch with him should talk to him. Chopper said that people in a coma are still able to hear the things going on around them. So maybe talking will help?" She explains. I quietly gasp and felt my face heat up. If that's the case then he heard everything I said?!?!

"U-um yeah that's fine. I'll talk to him." I said embarrassed.

"If you're in here then it's Robins turn to do night watch. I think keeping someone on watch out here is a good idea so anyone who is in here can focus on Zoro and make sure everything in here is going okay" a small voice says. I nod my in agreement and turn to go sit down in the chair that is next him that I didn't notice was there before. I hear the door close as I'm stuck in a room with nothing but my thoughts and a person holding on to their life by the skin of their teeth. In the background, I hear everyone saying good night as they settle for the night. Realizing I'm by myself once again, my thoughts begin to race. When did this attraction start? I've always cared about the damn moss head but I never thought much into. He's Nakama. I should care about him. I care about everyone. He's always sacrificing himself for us without a second thought. I slowly turn to face him. Has he always been this handsome? Studying his face more, I didn't notice the door open as a dark haired woman stood in the door way.

"You really love him don't you?" I jump at the voice not knowing they were there.

"I guess. I never noticed until now though. It's pretty fucked up that it took him almost dying to realize that huh?" I solemnly chuckle.

"No. Not at all. Sometimes it takes that final push to realize feelings you didn't know you had." Robin explains back. I shake my head in agreement after that statement. Not knowing how she knew but knowing she's very observant was probably how she realized what I've been thinking.

"He doesn't even know yet. How am I supposed to tell him when he's hanging on to his life by almost nothing? I haven't even gotten tell him yet and he might know at all." I whisper out trying to control my emotions. I hear Robin walk over to me and out a hand on my shoulder.

"Maybe what Chopper said is true. If you talk to him you might help him wake up and he might feel the same way towards you. Zoro cared for a lot. More than he let be seen to the people around us. He always made sure that when we ate he didn't take a lot before you got some. Or always made sure that if he came into the galley for anything that nothing was out of place when he or anyone else but you left it. He always made side glances towards you when there was a battle to make sure you were okay. He has always cared for you deeply but made it shown that he didn't care at all." After hearing this it made butterflies go into my chest. I look up to her give a small smile. I nod my head a little to show her that I acknowledge what she said and turn to face him again.

"Thank you Robin. I appreciate you telling me that." I whisper out. "You're welcome Chef. And hey." As she's walking to the door. "Your secret's safe with me." She gives a small smile and leaves the room to continue her night watch.

I sigh and close my eyes. Leaning against the bed with my arm holding my head up I begin to think. I don't even know what to talk to talk about with him. Maybe just nonsense for now? Tell him about Brooke? Sure talking about random things might help calm my head a little bit too.

——————————————————————

After talking to basically myself for about an hour, exhaustion slowly takes over. I want to keep talking but I can barely keep my eyes open. Fighting with the tiredness, I get up to grab a blanket and pillow that Chopper keeps in here and walk back over the very uncomfortable chair. I place the pillow next to Zoro's on the bed and wrap the blanket over my shoulders. Trying to find comfort in the half sitting up position and half slouched position, I sigh and grab Zoro's hand and intertwine it with mine. A very small sigh passes my lips as I slowly drift to a very light sleep.