Sacrifice

Forgotten

I feel my breath catch in my throat at Choppers' statement. He's waking up? I keep far away from everyone as they all begin to cheer. I see most of them jumping around while tossing Chopper in the air cheering for him. Right when I go towards them we all hear a rough voice call from inside the infirmary. A voice that we havent heard in weeks. A voice that sounds so foreign to me now. A voice I never want to stop hearing.... Zoro's

I clench my fist as it begins to shake and my eyes fill with tears of relief. Before anyone can see me, I turn to face the sea once again leaning on the edge of the Sunny. I hear the door close a few times guessing that people are taking turns going in and out. I try not to think about what is going on inside the infirmary, more like who, and keep to myself. Knowing that everyone is gonna be up till late tonight, I go to the kitchen and start whipping up some snacks for everybody. I hear the door open and send a subtle glance to see who came in. Part of me wanted it to be Zoro, but I know that Chopper has him on lockdown in that bed if I have any guess so that idea left as quick as it came. I hear Robin walk closer to me with a look that shows she knows what I'm trying to do.

"You know, avoiding your problems aren't gonna have them go away right?" I sigh at her words knowing she's right. I turn to her but the words keep getting stuck. I feel my throat tighten when I finally speak. "W-What if when he sees me, he just gets disgusted? Or worse he tells everyone else?" I feel myself tremble even more at the thought. He's gonna hate me. I can't go in there. He's going to try every way in the world to make it known that he wants nothing to do with me.

"You won't know unless you try. How will you know how somethings gonna go if you don't move forward and see what the outcome is?" Robin looks at me in a way that I know means that there is no way of getting out of going in there. I lower my head to look towards the ground. "I'll go in there once I'm done with this and everyone else is finished with talking to him." I feel Robin pat my shoulder as she walks out of the room. I get back to making the snacks while the fear of being hurt still lays heavy on my mind. I can't deal with getting hurt again. Him almost dying was enough pain for a lifetime. Dealing with his rejection, I rather cut my hand open again. Breaking out of my thoughts, I smell something that is about to burn. I gasp while looking at the food I was prepping infront of me on the stove. I quickly plate the snacks and walk out the door not forgetting to grab Zoro the small bowl of soup I made up for him.

I set the plates around the bench on the mast seeing everyone start making their way towards the food. I keep the small bowl of soup I made Zoro and walk up to the infirmary door. I stand there for more than enough time trying to find enough courage to walk through the door. Before I try to turn away, I feel a hand push my back and another one pop out to open the door. Stumbling in, I see Zoro raise his eyebrows in question as to what I was doing. I walk forward and make my way to seat that has become very familiar. I sit down avoiding eye contact but I could still feel his eyes gazing into me.

Clearing my throat as I sit down I say, "I thought you might have been hungry. Incase Chopper didn't tell you, you have been out for almost a month. So I figured you might have been hungry. Just eat slow so you don't get sick." While I'm handing him the bowl, I feel my face heat up slightly in embarassment. He nods in a thanking manner and slowly begins to eat. An awkward silence makes its way through the room as he is just eating and I'm sitting there deep in my thoughts. How do I bring up what I said. Maybe he will? How is he acting so calm right now?  Before I get too deep into my thoughts, Zoro cuts me off.

"Hey Ero-Cook. You're quieter than normal. Especially around me, did something happen?" I keep my gaze on the ground. My eyes slightly widen at his question. "E-Everything's fine. Just tired I guess." I mumble to him. I hear him clink the spoon into the now empty bowl. Gaining some courage, I slowly look up to him to grab the bowl. I make eye contact with him and see him having a disgruntled look on his face. "Something on your mind Mosshead? You look more confused than usual." He gives me a dirty look and hands me the bowl. "My head is killing me. It feels like it's going to burst and I don't know why." I feel my breath catch in my throat slightly. "People were talking to you while you were out. Chopper said it might help you wake up so everyone took shifts watching you and talked to you while they did" I reply. He closes his eyes in thought. "D-Do you remember anything that the crew has said to you? I mean everyone came in at least once to say something to you but I don't know what was said." Keeping his eyes closed he says, "It's like I can hear everyone talking at once. It's all jumbled up and none of it makes sense." Losing all the hope I had, I turn away from him once more.

"Wait. You said everyone came in here and talked to me. So what did you say to me shitty cook? Hoped I was gone so you can be next in line for my spot?" Zoro asks rather smugly. After hearing that I feel rage course through my body. I stand aburptly quickly making my way towards the door. I get to the door knob getting ready to open it. "Yeah. Because with you gone everything would be better right? Go to Hell you mold headed asshole." I make my statement and open the door. Ignoring his sounds of anger, I walk out the door slamming it behind me. I look around seeing empty plates on the bench stacked nicely with no one in sight. I lean against the wall next to the door and slide down tucking my knees to my chest. I take a shaky breath as my eyes begin to water once again. Realizing that no one is around, I let them fall and cover my mouth to quiet the small sobs that are coming out of my mouth. The only words that keeps running through my head are, I can't believe he forgot.