Two gay men walk into a bar.
"Sonic, what the fuck are you doing here?" Shadow asked.
"I'd ask you the same thing, but I think everyone knows why you come here." Sonic almost immediately snapped back.
"Pffft, okay, and what about you? Amy giving you a rough time again or something? What makes you of all people wanna fucking drink?"
"Past trauma, mental breakdowns constantly and just wanting to get away from it. Y'know, the usual."
There was a pause in conversation as they sat down at the bar.
"Okay, you're talking like I don't have past trauma and mental breakdowns."
"What the fuck do you mean by that? I was just stating what I go through, asshole."
"And you made it seem like I didn't fucking know!"
"I LITERALLY SAID 'Y'KNOW', SHADOW"
"Keep your goddamn voice down, we're in a public fucking place."
"Oh, it's a fucking place alright, especially in the goddamn bathrooms."
"Now what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why are you even bringing that up? That's just how I fucking speak, dicknips. You wanna fuck me or something?"
"Now what the fuck brought that up? You act like fucking doesn't go on in those bathrooms over there."
The whole bar was staring at them at this point. They haven't had a single drink yet.
"Sonic, why would you even bring up the fucking in the bathrooms in the first place if you didn't want to go fuck in the bathroom."
"Because you said this 'fucking place' and I said yeah it's a motherfuckin' fucking place and so that makes me believe that it's your idea to go fuck in the bathroom in the first place because you brought it up first."
"Okay seriously why are you turning the fucking tables on me here in fucking public? Look at us, we have a fucking crowd."
Everyone looks away at that moment.
"No, NO- EVERYONE! YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!! NOT ONLY DID SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG PISS ON AND FUCK EGGMAN'S WIFE, HE ALSO DID IT BECAUSE HE WANTED TO PROVE HE'S NOT GAY EVEN THOUGH HE IS-"
"SONIC YOU FUCKING WHOREBAG, YOU'RE GAY TOO!"
"HAH! YOU SAID TOO- Wait what-"
"FUCK ME AND ESPECIALLY FUCK YOU BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
"WAIT WHAT- WHAT THE FUCK- HUH????"
Shadow dragged Sonic into the men's bathroom.
They had hot steamy sex and everyone heard.
The management didn't kick them out because the hedgehogs are cool and they could kick their asses.
YOU ARE READING
Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar (Sonic/Shadow)
Hayran Kurguthe title says it all lmao crackfics are fun OG (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/39192777