I can't always wake up thinking about him, it's hurts. Waking up everyday with tears in my eyes, it must stop. Maybe a vacation could do me good, he isn't here anymore, I need to stop thinking about him. I must stop. I think about stopping everyday but I don't, but today is the day. I'm going on a vacation in Jeju Island, it will do me some good. I already packed everything and I'm ready to go.
I bought a plane ticket to go there, it mustn't be long. When I arrived at the airport I did everything I needed to and sat in the seats waiting for the plane. I looked at instagram and saw a beautiful picture of him again, don't get me wrong, he isn't dead, he just doesn't remember me. I was trying to forget him for so long but can't and now someone posted a picture of him that I remember putting as my wallpaper when he still remembered me.
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(^ the picture ^)
Just as I was remembering this moment I had to go in the plane. I closed my phone, took my luggage and started to walk to the plane. When I was correctly and comfortably seated, I took my phone again and went to put some music in my earphones. Even tho I wanted to forget him, I still listened to his music since it was the only thing that I could do to still feel close to him. The 55 minutes to Jeju-Do was peaceful, I was listening to his "Off My Face" cover and some calm songs of his group. When the plane landed, I took my luggage and left the plane. I was walking peacefully in the airport still with my music in my ears and saw a picture of his group.
I smiled softly and walked straight out of the airport. Since my hotel was close, I walked there. Arriving at the lobby, I asked the key to my room and went to my room before anything else. Being far from him may make me forget about him, he is in Seoul while I am in Jeju-Do, it should be far enough and if it's not I can always go live in another country. Even tho he was always far from me, I lived in Busan while he was in Seoul with his band and before that he lived in Namyangju while I lived in Busan. I was born in the same town as him, Namyangju, but my family moved when I was 10. It's been 10 years since I didn't see him in person, I always missed him but he forgot about me.
Now that he doesn't remember me, I'll do the same and forget him. I'll enjoy my stay in Jeju-Do and not think of him in any way. It's late, I should sleep. I changed in my pyjamas and did my night routine. I slid in my bed and pulled the covers up until my shoulder. Closing my eyes I remembered the picture I saw of him today, he was beautiful, just as I remember.
"Y/n! Can you come play outside with me?" Heeseung screamed outside my window.
"Of course, I'm coming wait there." I said and ran downstairs.
I saw my parents talking about Busan and a house, I didn't think much and ran outside to meet Hee.
"Let's go." I said and he took my hand in his and dragged me to the park close to our houses.
We played there for hours until our parents had to call us to come eat.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school Hee." I said to him front of my house.
"Yes, eat and sleep well, I'll wait for you in front of the school gate." He said and we hugged.
I walked in my house and found no food on the table, even just no food at all anywhere. I called my parents but they didn't answer at any of my calls. I went upstairs to their room and just saw an empty room, nothing in it. I ran to my room and saw them putting all my things in boxes. I panicked and asked them what was happening.
"Oh well, we are moving. It's a good thing you played with Heeseung today since it was the last day we were in Namyangju." My mom answered me.
I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. After this, my parents put all the boxes of my things in a big truck and the truck left. We slept on the floor of our living room with blankets and pillows. I slept for 1 hour that night and when the morning arrived, my parents put all the things we used to sleep in our car and drove off. We passed my school and I saw Heeseung waiting in front of the school gate. My voice got stuck and tears began to fall from my eyes. I had to many emotions in me and I wasn't able to let one out. The only thing I was able to do was to mumble a little "I love you" while staring at him.
I woke up with tears in my eyes again, I dreamed about it again, the last time I saw him. I was only 10 but I already knew what feeling was in my heart when I was with him. I never told him and I regret it, I just wish I could tell him in person and at the same time I want to forget everything about him and these feelings. Getting all these feelings back again, I broke down and sat on the hotel bed and put my knees to my chest, hugging my legs. I cried most of the night until I was too tired and fell asleep again.
