I slept, I think. I kept thinking of the kiss from last night. I'm sure that he didn't know what he was doing, how could he kiss a girl he doesn't know, well doesn't remember. I didn't see him drink anything, but I wasn't looking at him the whole time either. My mind didn't know what to think of, or what to believe in. I couldn't get to any conclusion, so I got up and changed into something else. I put on a pair of pants and a lose t-shirt to relax in my room. I didn't have any energy today and decided to just stay in my room and watch tv or something.
After one episode, someone knocked on my door. I pause the tv and walked to the door. When I opened it, there was Ni-Ki in front of me. "Hi, would you like to come with us to visit the island?" He asked me. "I'm good, I wanted to relax today, sorry." I answered him. He told me it was okay and when he was saying goodbye to me, I was looking for someone behind him. When my eyes finally landed on him, he wasn't looking like he remembered much of last night. His hair was a mess and he looked sleepy. I told Ni-Ki to have fun and went back into my room.
He looked really beautiful, more than last night, even if he looked like he just woke up. I need to get him out of my head, but I can't when he's so close to me. I went back on my bed and unpaused the tv. My mind wondered to him a lot and sometimes, the people on the television would be Heeseung instead. Every time something like that would happen, I would shake my head and blink until the actors were back to normal. I didn't know what to do with him, how could I ever get him out of my head. I took my phone and stared at my phone's wallpaper.
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(^the wallpaper^) Maybe it would be easier to forget him if I changed my wallpaper. I can't open my phone and see him every time and then wonder why I can't forget him. Maybe if I change it into something more comforting than a hot and sweaty Heeseung. I went into my pictures to find a replacement that was more cute. I looked for a long time until I decided to find it in another app. I opened Pinterest and looked for something more normal to have as a wallpaper than a hot guy. I found a cute picture and changed it for my wallpaper.
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(^the new wallpaper^) I found it cute and it fits me. I admired it for a while and closed my phone to continue watching tv. As I was watching the movie that was playing on my hotel's room television, someone knocked on my door. I thought that Ni-Ki was there again to ask me something, so I jumped out of bed and ran to my door. "What?" I asked the person which I thought was the teen. "Hi, do you happen to have a phone?" The person asked me. I was confused by the voice and the question, I looked at the guy in front of me and froze.
"I do?" I said slowly. Heeseung was standing in front of me and he was looking nervous. "I lost my phone and the guys don't want me to use their phone to call mine, can I use yours?" He asked me. I didn't want to be mean to him, but I didn't especially want to talk to him either. My plan was to forget him and now he's standing in front of me. "Sure." I simply said and went to take my phone. At least I changed the wallpaper. I unlocked my phone and handed it to him. He took it from my hand and I felt his fingers brushing against my palm. I didn't say anything and just let him put call his phone.
"Can I take it inside my room one second?" He asked. "Yeah, no problem." I told him. I watched him go inside his hotel room and waited for sometime in front of my room. He came out again and handed me my phone. "Thanks." He said. I smiled at him and when I ask about to look into my phone, he interrupted me. "I deleted my phone number from your phone, I can't have the chance of fans or other people calling me." He said. I nodded and he left. I closed the door and went back into my bed. The movie was still playing and I was laying on my bed while staring at the ceiling.
I didn't know what to do, so I called the front desk and told them that I was going to go back the next night. I couldn't stay here any longer with him being so close to me. It didn't feel right, my parents always told me to forget him and they still do sometimes, talking to him while I he doesn't remember me and looking at him trough my phone screen feels like cheating. It wasn't late, but I went to sleep anyway, since I was leaving to go home tomorrow, I needed rest. I changed into a big shirt and some shorts and laid I'm my bed. My eyes closed slowly until they couldn't open anymore and I fell in a deep sleep.
"Mom, when are we going back home?" A voice asked.
The little girl was talking to someone that seemed to be her mom, but I couldn't see either of their faces. Their clothes did look familiar, but I couldn't find the answer.
"Your dad and I keep telling you, this is our home now." She told her daughter.
"No, my home is with Hee." The little girl answered.
Just as she said that, all of their faces became clear, it was me and my mom when I was younger. We had moved for about five or six months and I wanted to go back. Seeing this scene broke my heart again, my mother grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to me room. She locked me in there and screamed that if I kept thinking about Heeseung, she would send me to a mental hospital. She told me that thinking about someone like that was close to mental illness and she didn't want a daughter like that.
The sweat on my forehead dripped down my face and tears followed soon after. I hated this moment in my life where I asked my mom to go back to Heeseung everyday. I realized a year after moving that she wasn't going to let go until I really forgotten him, so I faked it. I faked everything so that my mom can treat me right and I can have a nice childhood. My face showed happiness everywhere I went, but my mind was filled with fear and sadness. Because of all of this, I decided to finally forget him and move on.
