Two of a Kind

Focus

Will had been gone almost two weeks now, and Joyce had all but lost her mind. She hasn't slept since, other than the few times she accidentally passed out at work. She has been an emotional wreck and has only had Jonathan by her side each day after school and on the weekends to make sure she eats something and doesn't wither away from depression. She hasn't bothered to do her makeup or even get dressed, which was unusual for her. But she couldn't think of anything other than Will and where he was in that moment, and if he has eaten anything, and if he was okay.

Meanwhile at the police station, Hopper still hadn't given up on Will. He had barely gotten more sleep than Joyce, and the dark circles under his eyes had made him look even more intimidating than usual, effectively keeping his coworkers at a distance, which is how he preferred it anyway. He picked up the black and white photo of Will on his desk. His mouse-brown, bowl cut hair and big brown eyes made him look younger than he was. He had his mothers eyes and a sweet, boyish smile. He felt bad for the kid. Hopper knew he was a loner and a small, shy kid, and now his stomach wrenched at the thought of how he was holding up, wherever he might be. He set the picture down and sighed.

After his drunken night of self wallowing, Jim hadn't been able to shake the feeling of guilt for having thought of Joyce and her stunning beauty in her moment of despair for her missing child. He had even had a sex dream that night after passing out in his chair, which only added to his shame once he woke up, beer spilled and sticky across the floor. What was wrong with him? How could his mind be wandering to places like that during these dire circumstances? He knew what it was like to lose a child, and he was disgusted with himself and his lack of morality. Hop didn't like himself as it is, and the way his mind wandered to things that didn't matter in times of great stress made those feelings morph into a rather harsh self-hatred.

Since then he had been laying off the beer, but would still indulge in a few fingers of whiskey each night after his shift to help him relax. He just didn't understand. The entire town had been conducting search parties nearly round the clock. Even people from out of town were coming in to help. It had been over a decade since a child had gone missing in Hawkins. It just wasn't a dangerous place to live. He credited himself with keeping the residents safe, but now he was starting to think it was just circumstance, and the reality was that he had just gotten lucky, and was indeed as useless as he felt on the inside.

Still, he couldn't just sit around and do nothing. He had searched what felt like every inch of town himself, and he wasn't about to give up on this kid. He truly worried about where Will was and if he was hurt. He didn't like to think about it, but being a cop, your mind has a way of wandering towards the worst case scenario despite your hardest efforts to stay positive. He dreaded each morning when he stumbled into the office reeking of booze, holding his breath while listening to the reports from the officers of the overnight shift, praying to a God he didn't believe in that they hadn't found a child's body last night. Hop didn't know how he would react to the loss of another kid, and he especially didn't know how the hell he would be able to break that devastating news to Joyce.

This morning he decided to head over to the Byers house again to check up on Joyce and see how she was holding up. In all honesty, he missed her and needed an excuse to see her. On his drive there it was pouring out. The roads were slick and it was hard to see. Very fitting, he thought, as he pulled into the rocky driveway. As he got out and closed his truck door, he suddenly felt stupid. "What am I going to say? Hey, how are you doing? Of course she's doing horribly. What an idiot you are," he thought out loud to himself as he hesitantly walked up to the front door. He pounded on the door and waited for a response, half-regretting his choice to drive up here.

"Coming!" Joyce shouted in the distance. He heard the lock click and the door swung open. Joyce stood there in the doorframe, somehow looking smaller than her usual 5'3" and looked up to Hopper with wide eyes, surprised to see him. "Oh my God, Hop, come in! You're soaked!" She quickly stepped to the side and grabbed his bicep, pulling him inside and shutting the door behind him. "Can I get you something? Coffee? Dry clothes?" Her son was missing and she was clearly a wreck, yet she was still worried about him being cold and wet. She was an incredible woman, Hop thought in awe. He didn't respond, instead just walked in and sat on her couch, pretending not to notice the mess around him. His heart jolted with sorrow for her and he felt an urge to hug her, but resisted and instead held his hand out, inviting her to sit next to him on her own couch. She walked over and accepted the invitation, plopping down next to him.