Moon Cycles 🌙

You Are Not Hard To Love

Pairing: Loki  x Gender Neutral Reader 

Desc: Loki comforts the reader

warning tags: uwu sad, crying, confusion, self-doubt, angst, ED topic, ASD topic, and fluff.

A/n: I haven't found the inspiration to write these past 3 days. I have been heartbroken over something. Anyways enjoy this self-indulgent drabble/au one shot. 

Word count: 1.2k 

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                         The Avengers  Compound was quite quiet tonight. Tony wasn't in the lab with Bruce. Nat wasn't training with Bucky, Sam, and Steve downstairs. Clint was probably back home, and Moon Knight was out fighting crime. As for Peter and Thor, you assumed they were somewhere in the huge cinema that Tony built. So, This gave you the chance to be able to enjoy the living room all to yourself. The lights were turned off, and the tv was on mute. You laid your head on top of both of your arms on the couch, staring out the window. You watched as the jets, cars, and clouds passed by. The New York building lights were shining Christmas lights, and the citizens below looked like Lego figures. You had your earphones plugged in, and you had "Buy The Stars" by Marina nearly on repeat for the past thirty minutes. You had a few tears running down your cheeks, but the song wasn't enough to make your heart bleed. You turned on your iPhone and pressed shuffle. Just to see what song could make you release these bottled-up emotions. Cruelly enough, "Young and Beautiful" started playing. That did the trick. Tears began to stream down your stained hot cheeks faster. Felt your body shake within your x-large sweater, and your damped sleeves began to feel like rubbing paper sand on your eyes. You couldn't understand why so many people had left your life. And they didn't even hesitate to come back, it was as if they were finally happy to get rid of you. Perhaps you were a burden. You were too much baggage to carry. Perhaps they had found someone else that was better than you, and you were merely a distraction. Maybe you were never even their first option, to begin with. You continued to quietly cry into your elbow when all of a sudden the elevator door opened. The light of the elevator pooled into the kitchen, which caused Jarvis to turn on all of the lights. Perhaps Moon Knight was back from fighting crime and was going off to bed until Jarvis said "Good Evening Mr. Laufeyson". Shit, you knew that Loki was probably going to poke fun at you. You and Loki weren't enemies but you two weren't exactly friends either. There was a kind of line of respect and picking on one another. "Hey Y/N, it's Sunday night. Shouldn't you be off to bed? It's past your bedtime". He teased you across the hall. You didn't dare to turn around, you decided to ignore him. Loki raised an eyebrow and spoke once "What? No comeback? No, fuck off ice cube? Did someone forget to give you your bottle, little one?" "I am not in the fucking mood Loki." You said attempting to hide your hoarded voice. Loki walked towards you and sat on the edge of the couch. "Why not? You love calling me a greasy airhead". He announced, you shrugged your shoulders and continued to stare into the distance. Loki scooted over to you, "Y/N, are you alright?" He asked now in a tone that you hadn't heard before. "Out of everyone, why would you care?" You muttered. Loki placed his hand on your back "Y/n, look at me." He requested. You shook your head, you didn't want him to see you this way. "Please". He whispered. Loki never used the word please, this caused you to turn around and allow him to see your appearance. Your eyes were puffy and bloodshot and your nose was extremely red. Your hair was hidden in a messy bun, and your lips were dehydrated. Loki gasped and reached out to you. It was almost an instinct that you leaned into his embrace. Loki held you, and you began crying. You attempted to speak but you kept stuttering. Loki asked you to breathe in and out three times, and you followed his instructions. You then said roughly through your tears, nearly shouting your heart out "Why do people leave me? Why am I so disposable? Why did my ex care about my eating disorder? Why would he beg me to eat, and send him photos of my meals? Why did he help me during the tough times I had at home? Why would he go looking for me whenever I ran away from home?  Why did my best friend rush to my apartment and begged me to throw up the pills I took? Why didn't she let me go?! I could have been in peace by now. If they were both going to leave me in the end, why to spare my life?" You continued to cry and hiccuped each time, "It's not fair, it's not fair!" You yelled into Loki's chest. You attempted to let go of the embrace but Loki held onto you. He wanted you to let go, he wanted you to release your pain. Loki caressed your head, and slowly you began to calm down. The tears didn't stop but they weren't as violent as an ocean current. Loki let go of the embrace and held your face within his hands, "Listen to me carefully Y/N, it's not hard to love you-" You interrupted him, and shook your head "No no, something is obviously wrong with me. Why am I too much or not enough. What did I-" Now Loki interrupted you, "Allow me to finish my dear, please listen to me carefully". He spoke softly, you nodded your head and he spoke up again "There is nothing wrong with you. You are loved and there are people out there who miss you, such as myself. You are worth another day". You stood quiet, you couldn't believe how kind he was being. Loki continued as his eyes now filled up with tears "There will be people who come and go. But you are worthy and deserve the kindest and purest love. I know you, and I don't always see eye to eye but I cannot bare to see such a Princess like yourself crying over fools like them. I know you loved them but there will be more people to love. Okay?" You nodded your head, and a few more tears leaked out. Loki brushed them away, and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.  Loki then proposed "Let's go to bed, shall we? I'll read you a story, and I won't leave your side. I promise." "You pink promise, ice cube?" You said attempting to lighten the tone, Loki smirked and pulled out his pinky "I pinky promise". The both of you pinky promised, but as you were about to get up, Loki cradled you into his chest and picked you up as a father would to their child. You felt safe amongst his chest and allowed him to carry you into bed where he promised to read you a story. 

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