Online Love (fem reader × Kenma Haikyuu)

21. at all costs

Kenma POV

I heard her soft snores and smiled to myself as I ended the game. I turned my head carefully to look at her sleeping form, she looked so peaceful and at ease.

I carefully laid her properly on the bed and pulled the blanket over us. I laid sideways, looking into her face, taking in all her features in peace. Her lips were slightly parted and some of her hair was on her face. I hesitantly moved my hand towards her face, scared to wake her up. I gently removed the soft hair out of her face and smiled at the view.

She indeed was beautiful, but more beautiful than her appearance was what I got to meet of her till now, her beautiful soul.

I cringed a little at my own thoughts but I couldn't help but let those thoughts wander while laying in dark silence in my bed. I flinched when she started moving, it seemed like she looked for something with her hand and when she touched my arm she snuggled closer, hugging it. I stared down at her sleeping figure and blushed deeply, luckily it was dark and she's asleep so no one sees. I carefully wrapped my other arm around her and hugged her, nuzzling my face into her hair.

But my mind couldn't find peace just now.

I am nervous about how social media will react. Not only did I make an official face reveal I also made a girlfriend type of reveal. If it goes the wrong way the media's will rip us in the air and apart. But if I'm lucky, they won't care as much or the hype will be over tomorrow or so...

I'll have to wait and see. But I don't regret My decision, kissing her felt like a weight was taken off me. I felt relieved and a little at ease when we kissed. I liked the feeling that spread in my stomach when we did. I catched myself often enough imagining us kissing or these fake scenarios, but it wasn't even near my expectations. It was a thousand times better. I closed my eyes at the thought and pulled her closer to my body, I'd make sure no one can harm her. Not social Media, not Oikawa and not even me myself.

I wish I could just go and commit how I am supposed to do, but the fear is way bigger than i thought. Whenever I ask myself why I just can't give in completely for her, the anxiety comes back. What if I hurt her? What if she hurts me? What if it's just a phase and our feelings will fade? What if they don't hold the weight and value they're supposed to? My head started spinning again!

What if she isn't for real!? No she'd never... but what if? I am not even with her but already afraid to loose her.

"Kenmaaa" she whined quietly, making me flinch and turn my head to her. "Go to sleep...and stop overthinking" she whispered while snuggling into my arms. I frowned "okay" I whispered back and kissed her head again and again and again. "How do you know?" I asked quietly "you're tense and your heartbeat fastened." She yawned. I sighed through my nose and nodded "sorry...goodnight yn" I closed my eyes again and hummed quietly. "Goodnight Kenma, lov- sleep well".

I frowned, she was probably too tired to form straight sentences, she definitely needs a good sleep now, so I hugged her form and smiled as her hands started caressing my back. I returned the gesture and caressed hers as well with one of my hands, gaining a soft hum of hers before she fell back asleep.

Now I was sure of it, I need to protect her from it at all costs.