i, you, & them

in the depths

i never cared about
staying intact
i'm used to being frazzled
and it shows
but it hurts nonetheless
i'm floating in a sea of memories
where they traded me
for desperate times

whenever i fall into the depths
i hear voices all around
human, real, words that are clear
amidst the deep end
and i try to swim towards the closest
but i can never reach it
i end up drowning and i try
clawing my way up to breathe
but those voices they
they belong to people i know
people i once knew
people who knew me
people that do not want
to know me anymore
and i need them
i need to reach out to them but
they don't want me there
they don't want me anywhere near them
they whisper occasionally
and their whispers are like harpoons
shot from the surface
and unto my spine
but i still reach out
i still try
maybe one day
they'll let me join them
and we'll be like old times again