i, you, & them

i want to live

i want to live
i never wanted to die
the idea of life's experiences
tempt me so much
to stay

but there's uncertainty
heavily present
in my future
do i become who i want?
or someone i don't know of?

my creators they-
they wanted me to be someone
they're amused of
they wanted to mirror me
their failures

but what happened after
was i became my own failure
and instead of accepting it
i broke
and broke

and it felt as though
i was hopeless
i didn't believe in myself anymore
my mother didn't trust me
and my father didn't too

i succumbed into the uncertainty
and laid myself on the depth
where i believed
no one could help me
and i-

i don't know what to do anymore
it seems life has had enough of me
i can't control it
not at all
i can't- i can't hope for much, much more

i want to live
i never wanted to die
but sometimes i entertain
the idea of death
and i think it'd be fine