Redo 🔄 Hyunlix (2022) (1)

Stars and Following

A couple months after the break up (Suicide attempt warning. This chapter will often switch between Hyunjin and Felix but I will separate them as normal)

I got a job at the planetarium, I haven't been working for the past couple of months since Hyunjin and me broke up. I just couldn't bring myself to it as everything would remind me of him. I walked into the building and started my first tour.

I felt empty inside at this point, I only feel sadness but even I can't feel that sometimes until I find something that I linked to him. I was hoping maybe the stars and teaching people would take away the sadness and bring back memories.

Little did I know, that wasn't the case. As the constellation came up, I pointed out the first one "That one is the big dipper" I pointed over at that one as I remember what Hyunjin said that night. Tears threatened to come out as I spoke.

I walked over to another tour guide and said "I need to take a break, please cover me" they just nod as I go into the bathroom locking the door. I leaned up against the wall as I was brought back to that memory, the same memory of us stargazing that night.

The heartbreak hurts as bad as a razor cut but amplified to 1,000 times worse. In the end, I brought this on myself. I had to cover my mouth so people couldnt hear my sobs as it was getting hard to breathe.

I can't live on without him. I know I got to be strong but I just can't bare this emptiness and pain no more. I grabbed the knife out of my pocket and sliced my veins as blood starts pooling down on the floor.

I heard loud bangs until the door broke down onto the floor. I look down at the person's shoes as it has it says 'F + h.' The same writing Hyunjin wrote on his shoe that day when we were in the woods. I feel someone pick me up and puts their fingers on my wrist to clot the bleeding as they kneeled in the puddle of blood.

               ◆•Hyunjin's Pov•◆

I was in the planetarium because I remembered the time that we went stargazing together. I do this when I am missing Lix badly. And little did I know, that shorter boy with brown hair and the deepest brown eyes was standing right there.

The one that holds my heart. I have been going by his house everyday making sure his car is still there. I always kept a watch on him but at the same time, I made sure he never saw me because I know he wouldn't take it well.

He took us through the planetarium until it reached the the constellations. When he said big dipper, both of us remembered the same thing.  He was about to cry, I could tell by the way he was acting.

I waited a few minutes as another guide replaced him. I walked over to the direction he ran off to, most of the time he will hide his crying so it would have to be the bathroom. I saw blood coming from the bathroom door. "FELIX. FELIX."  I shouted but no response other than more blood.

Gosh dang it, I kicked the door over and over until it broke down. I'll pay the damage fee later, his life is more important than a damn door will ever be.

I kneeled down next to him calling 911. After I got off the phone, I held him close to me and held his wrists where it was cut to stop the bleeding.

The blood gushed between my fingers as I cried. What did I do? Why did I trust those guys? "Felix, please stay with me. I love you and I'm sorry, I was in the the wrong for ever letting my friends around you"

"I just can't live this life of sadness and abuse from my dad anymore. Im sorry. I will always love you Hyunjin." His eyes closed as he was unconscious. I held my other hand to his pulse point. Still there thankfully. I'm so sorry I caused you this much pain Lix.

When the ambulance came, I didn't go with them. I just called Bang Chan to go and stay with him. He was my only source and I will always be thankful for this.

Normally you wouldn't be able to keep me away but I knew as a fact he wouldn't let me come in..

A year later

      ◆•Hyunjin's Pov•◆

My world is still crumbling apart, if it wasn't for Bang Chan, I wouldn't know that he is now on anti depressants. Or that he is even alive. I wouldn't know a single piece of information.

I also wouldn't know that he still thinks of me every second of the day or well anything about what he's doing. Bang chan thinks one day he will wake up and come back to me. Whats my opinion on it? No way in hell.

        •◇ Felix's Pov ◇•

My world has been shattered but why did that guy save me that day? I don't remember who saved me now and Bang Chan refused to tell me.

Bang Chan just said that you will learn in time when your ready. I can't stop thinking about him and the break downs of crying just won't stop. Bang chan let me stay with him off and on when he was worried that I might try to do something stupid again.

I traced the scat that I remember gave so much pain and stitches for. But I stil don't know how much long I can hold on.

Two years later

            ◆•Hyunjin's Pov•◆

I got accepted into a big dance studio place where they rent you out a studio and work under them. It's a great deal and Felix is now getting better from what I heard. Which is even better.

I started out by doing YouTube tutorials on dancing different songs and then they found me once I started to become popular. I might even have enough money to go to dance school one day just to see all I can learn.

             •◇Felix's Pov◇•

I was slowly getting better with these anti depressions. I still miss him but these medications made me numb. But it doesn't take away the hurt and memories.

All it does is take away some of the sadness. But that razor pain in my heart won't go away like a permanent knife. Like I'm missing my other half.

Two and a half years later

I blocked out and forgot it all as a hypnotist helped me with that. She gave me a trigger word that wil bring back the memories if said. But hell now I don't even remember what it is.

Bang Chan is the only one who knows as he was sitting in the room with me when it happened. He was saying that he couldn't  stand seeing me like this and it was his fault? The last I remember seeing Felix is at the diner...

◇•Felix Pov •◇

The last time I saw Hyunjin was at the diner. But I believe I moved on, that I could make it through life. But I was wrong.

On the day of that promise I made to him, I will visit him and hear him out through a dinner or something. Bang chan pulls me aside as he was saying that there is something he has been keeping from me.

"The truth is Hyunjin broke down the door that day and called me to follow you to the hospital. He wanted to come as I had to talk him down from a full mental breakdown. He has been keeping in the loop slightly because I told him information about you. He never was out of pain. I took him to a hypnotist."

I couldn't wrap my head around all the information that Bang Chan was giving to me. Hyunjin really does care doesn't he?

"Oh and one more thing, his wake word is 'purple Lights 914' use it wisely if you want him to remember."

I don't want him to cause all that pain again. Let him think the diner was the last time he saw me because if I do tell him, he would worry for eternity as if he knew of my attempt, he would hover all over me. It might be selfish but its for the better for both of us.