Blinding Sights

guilt

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER EVERYONE!

My stomach drops, quickly following Ashley. Not wanting to cause a scene.

My body fills up with worry. Until I spot him. He sits on a bar ground. Face full of tears and snot. His eyes bloodshot red. That's when I see it. He holds his hand out, laying on his lap, full of blood. I lower myself down to his level.

"Ash what the hell happened?" Anxiety fills up my voice.

"He-He started talking about Sammy. A-And he got angry. He tried running out. When I tried to stop him, he tripped while having a glass of wine in his hand. It must have broken when he fell because he started bleeding. A-And-." Ashley tries to explain frantically.

"Hey Hey It's okay. I got him. You're okay." I cut her off while trying to bring her some comfort. As hold up my hand for her to grab, which she carefully takes. I return my attention to my brother.

I scan Asher's hand, looking at the injury. Seeing as blood keep running down his hand, I quickly rip a part of cloth of my dress.

Placing the material on his hand as a bandage, tying it as a knot, to stop the bleeding. I watching as tears continue running down his face. Carefully watching my every move, with so many thoughts behind his eyes. His breathing begins getting faster.

"I-I'm sorry Y/N. Fuck I'm so sorry." Asher begins to sob. "Hey, it's okay. It was an accident okay?" I try to calm him down. Rubbing both his arms up and down.

"Not just this. It's all my fucking fault. Sam should be here. Celebrating the New Year with us. A-And it's my fucking fault he's dead. It should've been me. It's all my fucking fault. I'm such a fuck up." He says in a frantic sob. With all the emotions absorbing him I can't seem to get a word in.

"FUCK and Olivia too Y/N. I took her away from you. I killed your first love. I saw the way you loved her. How the fuck do you not hate me? It's all my fucking fault." His words cut deeper than an a knife. Knowing I've had the same exact thoughts about myself. I too wish it were me. From this perspective I can clearly see it's not the truth. I cup my hands on his face.

"Ash, It's not your fault. I could never hate you. It was the other driver's fault. Don't say that please. You and I both know Sammy and Oli's death is not our fault, okay? It's not true." I say trying my hardest to convince him and myself. Holding his face up so he looks me in the eyes, meaning every worth the escapes my mouth.

"I'm sorry, it's just I miss him so much." Asher cry's so hards it makes my heart clench.

"I miss him too Ash. So much. I know it's hurts, I'm sorry too." I say as I bring him into a hug, which he clearly needs. He wraps his arms around me instantly. Sobbing, tears soaking up my dress. I rub my hands down his back trying to calm him down.

As he manages to calm down I look up from where i'm sat. I look at the panicked faces around me. Lizzie, Ashley, and Mary-Kate looking down at me. No one else seemed to notice. Good.

"He's okay" I mouth to the three girls.

The expression in their faces relaxes, almost as if they were waiting to hear those words.

"Ash let me take you to the hospital okay? I think you might need stitches." I whisper trying my best not to distraught him.

He looks at me, his eyes full of sadness. Nodding as he's not able to stop the tears from rolling down.

I stand us up, holding him against me. I struggle a bit since he's a lot heavy than me. Lizzie quickly hold him up from his other side. I give her a thankful look.