Leah Williamson: The Bond.

Part 6: Dad's Death and The England Call Up

I slept weirdly good last night. I was at peace for a small amount of time. My nerves kicked in once I realised England call ups are today. Either way I would be sad and scared. If I get called up, I'm surrounded constantly with Jordan and Leah. But if I don't get selected, it would crush me. It's a tricky one. I don't know which one I want.

I spent the day with Alessia and Ella. They had both gotten calls by 1pm. This made me a whole lot more nervous. They kept reminding me to stay calm and patient but I just couldn't. This was until I heard my phone buzz.

"Abs quickly! Answer it!"
Ella was getting excited. I walked out of the room to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this Abby?"
My hands started shaking. I knew what was happening from then.

"Yes this is."

"That's great. This is Sarina. I just wanted to inform you that we've decided to call you up to the England camp for the Euros this summer. How does that sound?"

"Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity! You won't regret it."

"I hope I don't. Now Leah had an input in your choice but I want you to prove her wrong. Your season at Manchester United has been strong and I want you to carry that into this England camp."

"I'll prove her wrong don't worry. Thank you again for this."

After a quick exchange of goodbyes, the phone called ended. Ella and Alessia rushed in.

"I got it. I got the call up."

I got tackled onto the floor inside a big bear hug.

"Why don't you seem excited Abs?"
Alessia was trying to work out why, although I know Ella told her about Leah.

"Well Sarina said Leah wasn't keen on me joining the camp. So take from that what you want."

"Shit. She's acting so bad about this. She fucked up, you didn't."
Ella looked sad. I knew she just wanted me happy.

"It'll work out. I just need to talk to Leah before the camp."

At this moment, there was a knock at the door. It was Beth and Millie.

"Hi youse! Yous get the call up?"

"Yeah we all did!"
Alessia was excited for me. And proud.

"Oh my god Abby! Well done! You excited?"

"Yeah I am."
I looked at Beth. She knew.

Millie and Alessia went to her room, while Ella went into the kitchen. Beth came up to me and gave a massive hug.

"I know what your thinking. Are you okay?"

"Yeah i'm just overthinking it right now. Once I get there it'll be fine."

"I'm always here for you."
Beth gave me another hug. She was a good friend, even though I didn't know her for long.

Ella always had good stories from England camps. They're always funny, and just family like. I was excited to me an environment like that. Yes, I was worried but the excitement was growing on me. I'd get to do an England camp with my sister and best friend. How crazy is that? Not many people can say that. I just know how proud Dad would be of us right now. He'd come to every England match no matter what. I just wish he was here to see my debut with Ella.

I could hear my phone buzzing again. It was Leah.

"Yes Leah?"

"Hi Abby. I don't know what Sarina told you but I just wanted you to know it wasn't meant in a mean way. I just didn't want it to be awkward in camp."

"You didn't want it to be awkward so you tried ruining my chances of my dream? You knew how much I wanted this. I hope you and Jordan are happy, and I hope you've told Jordan about the kiss. Thanks Leah. Thanks a lot."

I hung up the phone. I sat in silence before I heard a knock at the door. It was Ella.

"Leah?"

"Yes."

She sat beside me for a while.

"It'll be hard but this is our dream. Don't let some selfish girl take that away from us. Okay?"

"I know El. It's just hard."

We sat in silence for a minute until Ella put friends on the TV. It made me giggle constantly. We watched it a lot when Dad died. I think it was because it made us both laugh. It made us feel some sort of emotion that wasn't pain.

TRIGGER WARNING *SELF HARM*

When Dad died, it effected me really badly at the start. Well, for a long time it effected me in ways nobody knew. I started self harming. I know, it's stupid but I couldn't help it. I had to find a way to keep the pain from becoming too much, so doing that helped ease me in a way. The scars are still very visible on my arms but i'd never go anywhere without long sleeves, even in summer. I didn't want anyone knowing. I didn't want to be seen as 'different' or 'ill'. So I kept it a secret, even Ella doesn't know. And I intend to keep it that way. I just know this England call up, this new family I will have, will make me miss Dad slightly less. I need that. I need a new family. I haven't left Dad behind. I know he's with us, every second. I just have to learn that I won't see him but I can still feel him. That's why I talk to him by myself.