Royally Bounded

Chapter 82

Hayden

"I'm a fucking asshole, Clara," my voice turned cold, and I tightened my fingers around her strands. "I don't fucking deserve to be with you, but I'm selfish as fuck. I could never stand you with another man. Even a damn thought makes my blood boil. You could have just fucking divorce with me, but you kept my reputation even if I completely ruined you to the point that you hated me."

"How could I ever hate you?" She questioned. "The day I married you, I realized how lucky I am to be with you. If I was with Arnaldo, he would treat me like a toy. Once he was done, he would find someone else to please him. I would be nothing."

The images of Arnaldo with Clara was causing a lump in my throat. I could imagine the pain she had to experience. The mental pain that he would leave behind in her life. He was a selfish bastard who thought with his dick not his mind.

"You taught me so much of this world, Hayden," she slowly caught her breaths. "You made all the traditional thoughts untraditional. You gave me the freedom to do what I wanted. I didn't like you at first because of your personality, but I fell in love with you because of your personality. It had always been you."

I glued my mouth shut as I pressed my lips down to her forehead. The guilt was disappearing when her words reached my brain. Her warm body against mine. My blood was running cold at the nightmares, but she brought me back. Clara fucking owned me.

We avoided talking about the past because it was the most damaging part of our lives. I fucking hated seeing what I did. I nearly destroyed my perfect marriage with the woman who loved me the most. She was so fucking good to me, an angel from heaven to save my ruined soul.

Clara parted from me, and I wiped her tears with my thumb. She let out a heavy breath then locked our gaze. "If I knew that I had to experience the pain, I would still marry you. I could never find another person who loves me the way you do. It might not be the way that others want to be loved, but it's the way that I want to be loved."

"Don't be so fucking good to me, Clara." I murmured.

"I can't promise you. I love you too much for that," her lips pulled into a faint smile. She had her hand over my cheek, rubbing her thumb.

I had no goodness in me. It was what I accepted since Aunt Lottie left. It was what I avoided since Isabel betrayed me. I gave no shit about sympathy. To survive in my world, the dark methods were the only ways to protect myself and the people in Nascadia. It was part of me that could never change even if I had Clara and would only get worse if anyone dared to lay hands on her.

We went out to the backyard, barefoot against the grass after Clara had her shower. The blades were itching at the bottom of my feet, prickling my skin each time I took a step. I was annoyed with it, but as I looked over at Clara, she was staring up at the stars, her blue eyes stunning as fuck. Her eyes glowed the same way the stars did.

Sitting down on the grass, Clara came close to me, and I wrapped her cardigan tighter around her body from the cold. My arms winded around her waist as I pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

"It's been a while since we've sat here. I think we should come out more often, maybe after dinner as a little date," she said softly.

"Leave Xander with my parents. He could be there forever. We could have our private time until our second kid arrives," I muttered.

"We can't do that, Hayden. Xander loves being with us, and I don't want to miss my Mummy time with our son. He's going to be in school soon too. I want to watch him grow up and have a family with someone he loves."

"What the fuck, Clara?" I furrowed my brows and stared at her. She was stepping so damn far, and I was still trying to be a fucking dad to my son. "He's only turning four. Why the hell is he having a family already?"