The Fan Gay (Cate Blanchett)

Chapter 20

"I love you too," Cate whispered after pulling back, smiling at me sweetly while her eyes gazed at mine.

Flustered, I repeatedly blinked at her, maybe so much that my eyes ached from what I did.

"...Why?" I asked her out of disbelief. It's like I heard something so impossible that I must ask why it's happening.

I think my brain died. Or maybe I lost it.

She laughs, "What do you mean by why?!"

I ignore her, "Did you really... say that?"

She nodded, smiling, "Yes, I did. I love you." Then she wipes my tears from my cheeks, saying, "So please, can you stop crying? The last thing I want to do is make you cry."

I removed her hands, "I--I don't understand, why is this--Why aren't you rejecting me? You're supposed to say that I should stop this, that I wasn't being professional. That I'm an idiot for falling in love. This--This wasn't like supposed to be happening..."

"Are you really that shock to the point that you expect all of that?" Before putting her hands on me, she said, "Honey, how can I reject you..." She continued while intertwining our hands, "if I'm also in love with you?"

I look at her, still in shock, hearing her again, "You really do? like... a real thing?".

Smiling, she replied, "I do more than a real thing."

"Are you sure there's no camera in here? it's not for a documentary or something?" I said, looking around the room.

Chuckling, she said, "There's nothing in here, y/n... it's just the two of us."

I sigh like I finally got a chance to take out everything I've been keeping. It's like a sudden relief, but still, in doubt of the moment we're having.

I look at our hands, which are resting on my lap. It's still locked to each other's fingers. I end up staring at those, admiring how Cate's hands are finally holding mine.

"My hand looks small to yours." I said a loud, still looking with our intertwined hands.

"Well..." She said, getting our hands to her face and taking a closer look. "I don't think it's a problem. I find it perfectly fit to mine." She says, grinning proudly.

I feel my cheeks blush, and I can't help but smile at it.

"Would you look at that? She's finally smiling... and blushing." She says as she waggles her eyebrows

I removed my hand from her, "Stop, you're teasing me." I said, hiding my smile at her. "I should've not smiling at you. I'm expecting more different."

"Tell me what you are expecting, then."

"I was thinking you'll storm out and leave me alone without letting me finish my words. And you're going to text me saying 'you're fired, let's not see each other again.' then I'll probably die after that."

She squints her eyes, "Do you really think I'm gonna do that? Am I that cruel?!"

I shake my head, "I just want to expect the worse so I wouldn't get disappointed."

"So, did your little head of yours expect this?" she teasingly says.

"No, never in my crazy-ass mind that I thought about this. I'm still processing it to be honest, and I don't know. How can this be real? Everything that happened looks like a dream, you look like a dream."