The Fan Gay (Cate Blanchett)

Extract from Chapter 33

Two days ago...

Catie
My angel, I am deeply sorry I wasn't able to come to the party... I really tried. I want to explain every detail to you, but I assume you're too drunk to read my texts. I'm not going to get angry if that's the reason why you're staying.

I hope you're not mad at me, but I'll makesure I'll make it up to you when you get home tomorrow. You have me all weekend, I promise.

So, can you pretty please call me as soon as you get this? And do drink some tea in the morning. I love you.

I just woke up, and I kept reading and staring at my phone over the past ten minutes. It is the same message that I cried out last night, and I don't know if Cate has already noticed I read her text, but she hasn't said anything yet.

Thankfully.

I feel like I'm suffocating already, not literally, but I just feel it because of how guilty I am. How my woman knows nothing about my lies, how Cate doesn't know anything at all. It's killing me because this is bigger than the lies I told Cate to surprise her on her birthday last time. This isn't just something silly. This is a fucking mess that started with a lie.

"Y/n, Do you want any coffee? Milk? Tea?"

The sudden question made me come back to reality.

"Uhm... Just--just tea." I replied almost immediately, yet still looking at my phone. I let her leave the room first before taking a deep breath, and finally calling Cate.

I nervously pressed the call button, even holding my breath as if it was helping me.

I thought that Cate might be possibly asleep, but just on the first ring, the call was immediately dropped.

She declined my call.

So, it's right to feel nervous! She probably saw me last night or maybe--

My phone rang in my hands, and I answered it as soon as possible. Yet before I say anything to Cate, she quickly says, "I pressed the wrong button! Jesus, I don't even know why I panicked." She reasoned out, making me just grin to myself, "But, anyway, Good morning, Drunky."

"Yeah, uhm... Good morning," I simply said as I sat comfortably. I cleared my throat before continuing, "Have--have you been waiting for my call?"

I heard a little chuckle from her, "Am I too obvious?" She asked, betting she said that with her cheeky smile. "Wait, did you drink any tea already? or-or have you taken some medicine now? I know how bad your hangover is in the morning."

A simple care made me blush. God.

I smiled to myself as I rested my head on the couch and looked at the ceiling. I hummed, "No, not yet. I just woke up. I'll do that later." I said, trying to avoid the question. "But, tell me about last night? Uhm, how's the screening?"

"...Oh, it went well, I suppose. But you missed how people were shouting at the end of the film that I probably can't hear myself when I talk!"

I grinned, knowing that it was all true. I was part of that crowd when it ended, and maybe if I wasn't hiding and it wasn't embarrassing for me, perhaps I'll even clapped the whole time. "Oh, don't brag too much. I think I'll be the judge to see all of that." I replied teasingly, and I heard a scoff behind my phone. We laughed together.

And then there's a silence between us, and I could probably mock her more, tell her something silly to make her laugh, but I took it as an advantage to apologize.