The Fan Gay (Cate Blanchett)

Extract from Chapter 27

"Hello? can I know who's this?" I said seriously as soon they answered.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

Still, silence.

I tried to wait for more by counting in my head, but the silence made me lose my patience.

"Whoever are you, I'm ending this call," I said, but someone spoke before I hit the end call.

"Y/n."

It made me stop. I held my breath as I heard the voice behind the person calling me. Everything around me suddenly feels cold, like I have been visited by some ghost around me. I'm not terrified of spirits and other things, but this is horror. I even tried to look around me, frightened that someone might be here without me knowing. But there's nothing to see here. I'm all alone in the house. Everyone is outside. But I feel uncomfortable now like I've been watched or followed by someone.

I need to calm myself from this.

I need Cate.

"Mom," I whispered under my breath. "How did you get--"

"I'm going home!" She excitedly announced, sounding even happy.

It made me sit at the edge of the bed. There's an obviously scared look all over my face. I'm even sweating cold. I really must be afraid for a lot of reasons. This isn't right. "What did you just say?"

"I'm finally going home, y/n. Can you believe that? I'm finally going to see you!"

Now, I heard her loud and clear. I'm finally going home, my mother said to me. Maybe some will say I should be excited, be happy that she's coming back... But I'm not. Instead, I'm worried and nervous too. This isn't for her to see me. There must be a reason for this.

I don't know exactly what my feelings are, but I know one thing. I know that I don't wanna see her, now that my life has been great.

Now that I'm already with Cate.

When I returned to my senses, I replied, asking, "What home?"

"What? Our home is the only one in New York. I'll be seeing you in 2 days."

I scoffed, "Don't you dare to call it ours. that house became mine when you didn't go home for years, Mom." I angrily said. "Are you seriously thinking I'm going to let you in MY house? Because you know exactly that you're being ridiculous."

"No, but I want to see you, Bunny. Don't you wanna see me? Your mom?"

"No, don't you say that to me. That Bunny that you know is gone... Gosh," I said, frustrated, running my hands through my hair, "What do you need, Mom? And don't you lie to me because I know you need something."

"Nothing, I just...I just want to talk with you."

"What's even to talk about? is it about money again?" I said, trying to suppress the tears that were beginning to build in my eyes. I'm hoping it's the opposite, and I know it's useless and idiot to still think that. But, I need something for this to make sense, for her to make sense.

So please, say no. Say I'm wrong, Mom.

"I've lost a hundred thousand and--"

I knew it.

I'm fucking idiot.

"A hundred thousand? What the hell, Mom?"

"I know. I'm not asking for all of that. I just need half of it and--"

I gasped, "Oh my god, how did you think I had that money? Fifty thousand? Are you out of your mind?"

She sighs, "I know. I'm sorry, bunny. I have debts, and I... I'm desperate."

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"Y/n? Are you there?"

I almost jumped when Cate knocked. Like a criminal that has been caught doing something illegal. I'd be more terrified if she heard me like this, so I muted the call so I could reply to Cate, "I'm just peeing! wait!"

Then I unmuted myself, immediately going to the bathroom, "You're not getting money on me, so leave me alone like you did in a long time. Don't you ever call me again." I retorted before ending the call.

I flash the toilet, so it will sound like I really did pee.

I sigh heavily. This thing about mom, Cate mustn't know. Maybe it's terrible, but I don't want her to know my Mom.

Never.

I know she would want to meet her, but I don't, even just a glimpse of each other.

I haven't seen my mother, but I know what she will think. I know she would take advantage of Cate, And I would never let her do that. Not to the person I love the most.

So again, I will lie.

Lie until I can.

Hide whatever I needed to hide.

Pretend as if nothing happened.

Once again, I sigh heavily to release everything from me before I walk over to the door and smile brightly as I finally open it, "Done."