Only His

Chapter Fifty-Five

Imani

I pushed the food to the side playing around with it, not having the appetite to eat. I couldn't stomach anything, because of my nerves and the stress. I'm sure it's also the baby as well that's making me feel like this. I know I should be trying to eat, but the thought of food just makes me feel ill.

I got up from the table and I went to the kitchen putting the plate on the counter and telling one of the maids thank you for the food. I have been a slight daze unsure of what to do, how to feel or think.

I haven't spoken to Megan in a while, ever since our fight the other day I have barely said any words to her. At the dinner we barely exchanged words to each other. In this moment I just wanted a friend to talk to. Someone who I was familiar with. I needed to know what to do.

I headed down the hallway towards the back garden, the one place that comforts me in this gigantic place. It's the openness of the Garden and the largeness of it. I opened the door walking out and I followed the path that around the garden.

The garden was a vibrant green, there was a ranges of colors of flowers. There were purple flowers, pink ones and yellows ones. They all grew in a destinged area with the same flower. I knew Kaz had a gardner that tended to this place, because it was just so beautiful. It was serene and gave me a mind at peace.

I walked towards the bench and I sat down on the bench. I looked up at the sky trying to think of what I wanted to do. I wanted Azura, I wanted to take care of her and be her mother, there is no doubt about that. I want to watch her grow up and watch her see the joys of life that I never got to experience.

How could I do that without Juan? I looked around the garden as I began to think. I needed a way to get rid of him. I could kill him, but I'm pregnant. I could risk harming the baby. I touched the side of my face, just touching the smoothness of my skin. Brayden. It occurred to me, I could use Brayden.

He wants Sinaloa, he wants the cartel, he wants them gone. I want Juan gone, Brayden could help me fix that problem. If I use Brayden, then I would still have leave Kazimir. Brayden will try his luck and try to catch Kaz as well, that would be a double win for him.

It doesn't matter what I do, I will still lose him. Using Brayden or not. The etching emptying feeling of knowing that Kazimir cannot be in my future or in my life settled in my chest. My heart weighing heavy not liking the idea.

My heart may not want this, but I have to think practically and be smart. I just can't think with my heart right now. I may love Kazimir right now, but it doesn't mean I won't be able to fall in love with someone else, have a new start with Azura and me. I'm supposed to meet someone and even have twins which is crazy, which may not be Kazimir.

My stomach churned at that thought. I placed my hands on my stomach, what if I was already pregnant with twins? I nervous waves flowed through me, uncertainty filling me. If I was really pregnant with twins, then that would mean Kazimir. I looked towards the house and it sets in.

This is the decision I will have to make. This is the time where I will decide about my relationship with Kazimir. What I do next will affect us no matter what. I'm possibly pregnant with twins, his babies and I might not even choose him.

I saw Mikhail in the distance watching me and my eyes narrowed at him. I also thought about the fact that Armani knows, but how would she knows something like that. I motioned for him to come over to me and he began walking in my direction. If he was another traitor despite his loyalty to Kazimir, I would kill him.

He stood in front of me and we stared at each other. His hands were at his side and a calmed neutral expression lay on his face. I scanned over his face, maybe hoping that he would slip up, but nothing.