[2] Just A Lost Girl | Avallone the Avenger

CHAPTER ELEVEN

But, she didn't.

Avallone's P.O.V.
Ever since Natasha and I's fight two days ago, I haven't been able to focus on anything, and I miss my best friend like hell. But, since I am so stubborn, I didn't want to go talk to her about it.
And, when she walked through the door, I was completely shocked.
"N - Natasha!" I cried, running towards her and throwing my arms around her neck. No words were needed, we both knew that that each other was sorry, and that we were both forgiven.

"So, how have you been for these past two days?" Natasha said, winking. I laughed, throwing my head back. "Boring as hell. I just ended up skyping Clint, and watching You Tube videos. And no, I didn't learn how to speak giraffe. There was no videos on it. I checked."
Natasha's lips curled into a smile. "I've checked too. But don't tell anyone." I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "Havne't we all checked though? I mean, seriously, who hasn't checked for how to talk giraffe videos on You Tube?"
She nodded and smiled, looking out of the window. The room went quiet, and I felt slightly awkward just sitting there, and not having anything to say.
"So, what happens when the mission is finished?" I asked, trying to break the silence, and also trying to answer one of the questions that has been burning me ever since I had heard the news.
Nat shrugged. "I really don't know. I guess that we go our seperate ways." My eyes started to burn, and I willed the tears to stay in. "No, that's not right! That can't happen!"
"I feel exactly the same way, but you know how that tyoe of stuff happens. We're agents Avallone, we aren't really supposed to get attached to anything or anyone."
She knew. God, she knew about Loki's trial.
It was weeks ago, and I never even heard what happened. Maybe, he's already dead, and the mysterious woman told him how I feel before he was killed, or maybe he is here, on earth.
If only I knew.
I shook my head and stood up, pushing my plate back. "I'm finished." I announced before leaving the room. Yes, I was being overly dramatic, but wasn't this the time for it?
The guy I fell in love with is considered a criminal in outer space, and was going on trial, and is probably dead. How can she be so - so heartless to mention him this soon? It could take years to get over it.
And maybe, if I do get over it, I'll move on. Maybe, I'll even fall in love with the Captain. Maybe.
My mind idly dawdled as I drifted into my room and sat down. I hadn't seen the mysterious woman in a while. She promised me that she would deliver my message to Loki, but she never told me what he thought.
Did she tell him, or was she just a figment of my imagination? Sometimes, my overworked mind creates scenes that I think are so real, that I go on right believing them the whole way, no matter what anyone says.
But, I touched her. She hugged me countless of times. Shouldn't a figment of my imagination be impopssible to touch? Doesn't that make her real? Is she real?
I dropped my head into my hands with a groan. I just want to go home, back to the tower, back to the Avengers. But, maybe they have already left? I mean, Natasha said that we will probably all part ways. What's keeping them from already leaving?
"No. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Oh, God. Why was I dragged into this mess?" I questioned myself, out loud, like countless times before. I always ended up regretting joining S.H.I.E.L.D., and letting the Avengers practically adopt me. I regretted how close I was with each one of them, and how I let one fall for me, causing me to hurt his feelings. And I mostly regretted falling in love with the one they so hated, the one who tried to destroy them.
God, I regretted it so bad.
But, I know that life is filled with regrets. I know that I will always think that the other way was the better option, when the way I took was probably better by far, in every way possible.
Yet, I never realise it until I'm already regretting it.
"You look stressed." Thor commented, flying into my room. I gasped, and looked up, tears streaming down my face. When did that happen? "T - Thor!" I cried, jumping up and running towards him.
He smiled his teethy grin and stretched his arms out for a hug. I hugged him and reveled in the moment, knowing that it wasn't real. In reality, I was still sitting on the edge of my bed, crying my heart out, and regretting all my life choices.
"I just need to see a familiar face. Anyone, just anyone . . ." I cried into my hands. I felt so alone, and so helpless. Normally, I wasn't like this, but lately I had been slipping into a pattern of depression.
"N - no! I won't be helpless anymore. I'll be perfectly fine! I'll be a perfect machine who is always happy and smiling." I said, making a resolution. I wiped away the tears, and dried my eyes.
This was going to be a new leaf for me.
No more depression.
No more sadness.
No more old Avallone.
With a sigh, I took the amulet that hung around my neck and walked into my wardrobe. Taking an expensive necklace out of its box, I replaced it with the amulet, and clapped it shut.
No more regretting.
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Song for this chapter: The Lonely by Christina Perri