chapter 8

113 7 3

by diizzyhurricane

by diizzyhurricane

krista

when i woke up the next morning, I quickly slipped out of jack's apartment and called my mom to come pick me up. I left a note on the counter, so jack wouldn't think I ditched him completely. I needed to stop by kian's house to see how he's doing. he's been a total mess lately. he's in a dark place.

I sent kian a text to let him know that i'm coming over.

to: kiki

i'm driving to your house now please let me in

"thanks mom, i'll see you later. love you!" I said while closing the door.

I approached kian's doorstep and rang the doorbell.

"kian, it's me. open the door."

I stood there for ten minutes until a dirty and sloppy version of kian opened the door.

"well look who finally decided to come to my rescue." his voice was raspy, indicating that he literally just woke up.

"sorry I was at-"

"yeah yeah I know. at the boyfriend's house. its not important now anyways." he rolled his eyes.

"I know that something is bothering you. you haven't been yourself lately." I said quietly.

"wow, no shit. way to state the obvious." he replied sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes at his response. I was just trying to help him.

"you know that I just came over here to help you." I said.

he wouldn't make eye contact with me. he's trying to hide the fact that he's upset.

"tell me, explain why you're unhappy. you know I love you. I'm sorry that I was busy." I said.

"that's the point! when you say those three words, you don't mean it like i want you to mean it. i'm sorry. i can't do this right now, or maybe ever. bye."

then the door slammed in my face. I know exactly what he means, and how he feels. not that I don't like jack, because I do. it's a different sort of relationship than mine with kian. kian is mine, always has been. I guess I gave up on the idea of us being together 'like that' when he and andrea started dating. he was so happy with her, and I wasn't going to get in between that.

I realized that i had been sitting on his porch, crying for a while now. I'm not an overly-emotional person, but lately I've been crying a lot. by now, it was probably around 7. I called jc to come pick me up.

"can you pick me up at kian's?" I said in between my quiet sobs.

"jesus. of course. I'm on my way." he said, hanging up the phone.

jc and connor arrived and I quickly sat in the backseat.

"tell us everything."

that's exactly what i did, about three boxes of tissues later.

kian

I think its a tuesday. honestly, i'm not sure. I think andrea and I are really broken up this time. I think I lost my bestfriend. I think I love krista. I really do.the real love that authors describe in the books. she's lovely and is everything you could want in a girl.

if only. if only she saw me that way. maybe someday. I don't know why i'm so sad. I don't know why I can't get my life together. I've been in a total haze recently. the clubs, the cigarettes, the alcohol has all gone to my head. I don't even know what I say to people half the time. I'm a mess.

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-amanda