Open Up

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A year had passed

Nick had adjusted to his new environment and had made friends as well. He became more comfortable talking around with his  colleagues
and nurses.

He also manages to put his feelings for Meredith aside for professional purposes, just like she asked him.

The whole year, he acted like she was just someone to him,a normal friend, just a colleague he works with,but deep inside... she's more than just friends and he doesn't think she gets that, because after he said that he loves her... she avoided him again...for a whole week. As in she didn't talk to him at all, when they would walk towards each other or meet at the elevator she would either walk away or just wait for the elevator door to close again,even in the parking lot, she would always try her best not to get on his way.

But then.... the only reason why she talked to him again is because Nick talked to her,pleaded her to listen to him and he said:

"I'm taking back my words..."  he said, looking at her sympathetically, an almost pleading "pleas talk to me" look on his face "I'm unringing the bell"

"You can't just unring it, Nick. You already said it" she said flatly

"I meant what I said,but I'm taking it back" he repeated "I don't want to lose you again just because I said something stupid I can't get over with"

"You never lose me,Nick" she then scoffed, slightly "I lost you..."

He was pulled out of his thoughts as he felt someone grab his arm, feeling his arm tingling a little.

Looking down he said his cup was overflowing with newly boiled hot water with coffee in it .

"Are you okay?" He then looked up and saw Amelia worriedly looking at him while wiping his hands with tissue

"Y-yeah..." he answered absently, still lost in his trance.

Amelia took the cup from his hand and threw it in the sink.

"Your hand is all red, I'll page Jackson" Amelia stated, more to herself as she took her pager from her lab coat

"No,no, it's okay... I'll just put a cream on it" Nick said,shooking his head as if he's trying to shake off all the thoughts he had

"Is everything okay?" Amelia asked, concerned

"Yeah, I'm good...great actually" Nick answered trying to offer her a smile

"You sure?" Amelia asked again, wanting to get an honest answer from him

"I'm great,yeah...thank you" Nick nodded smiling sadly at her

"Meredith's is coming back today..." Amelia stated

"I know..." he answered slightly looking down

"She was gone for the whole year you were okay...but why do seem... different now that she's coming home again" Amelia stated,not sure either what to say

"I'm happy...that sh-she's coming home... really" Nick said, trying to form a smile on his lips

"Is it because you thought she's never coming back?" Amelia asked

"I don't know... I just..." he let out a deep breath, as Amelia lead him to the couch to sit

"You can talk to me... about anything" Amelia offered, smiling at him soothingly "I'm a good friend" she added making Nick chuckle slightly

"She'll come home tonight... you need to pull yourself together" Amelia continued

"When I left Boston before...we were only seventeen" Nick began, trying to find the courage to continue

Amelia was just sitting next to him, waiting patiently for him to continue,not wanting to push or somehow make him feel force to talk about his feelings or what's making him feel like this

"I didn't say goodbye to her..." he added, looking down at his hands seeing the red marks from the hot water earlier

"Why?" she asked lightly, not wanting him to noticed how she badly wanna know everything about their past

"Because if I did..." he paused, looking at Amelia "I might not actually leave" he added

"But you did leave her..." Amelia repleted

"I knew that she spent weeks in therapy after I left" Nick continued "She wasn't eating,she never get enough sleep" he added "Maybe because she thought I didn't care about her, that I didn't even say goodbye to her" he questioned, more to himself

"But you did care about her... you still do" Amelia said soothing him

"Now I get it..." he said again, chuckling slightly,but sadness was hearable in his voice "I get how she feels when I left... how she felt when I left without saying goodbye to her"

"She didn't say goodbye to you?" Amelia asked surprised

"She didn't, maybe she thought 'what't the point of telling me, I'm just a friend'"  Nick said, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible "Maybe she wanted to make me feel the feeling she felt when I left without saying goodbye to her"

"You loved her?" Amelia asked, unintentionally

"I do" Nick admitted "And it scares me..."

"Why?"

"It scares me because I have always loved her before and she never knew about it... she just knew that I loved her as a friend" he explained

"She was never just a friend...." Amelia continued, earning a small nod from Nick  and a small smile

"It terrifies me because when I told her I loved her..." Nick continued, pausing for a moment not sure how to continue "she just went silent" he added

"She mentioned you said something but she didn't say what it was" Amelia stated "Though I knew what it was, I didn't bother asking it... cause I can see she was overwhelmed with it"

"I don't want to lose her again... though it's my fault why I lost her the first time but ... I don't know if I can... if I lose her because of something stupid I said"

"You won't lose her..." Amelia said, trying to assure him "She might be avoiding you with your words but you won't lose her"

"I'm nervous for her coming back because I don't know how to face her again...the last thing she heard from me before she left were I love you" he sighed

"You won't know until you do it" Amelia said, offering him a small smile

"Thank you...for listening" Nick said, smiling at her

"Of course... anytime" Amelia replied
"Come on, let's put cream on that" she added standing up

"Okay" Nick added following Amelia

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