Ghosts Of Revenge | ongoing

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE VILLAIN OF THE STORY

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"AGAIN,"

I growled my frustration as I poured my focus back into the task in front of me. Sweat ran down my face but I made no move to wipe it yet, knowing fully well that both Gods next to me would scold me for losing focus. Even though my mind is already racing with a hundred different thoughts besides what was at hand. I concentrated on the burn that always came when I used my powers and took a deep breath before I did whatever they'd been trying to teach me for the past day.

Focus on yourself, then the person you want to use your magic on and push your intent to them.

Now how I was supposed to do that, I had no idea but I still tried my best. So far it hadn't been enough. I really did try but it was not easy when you have four people looking at your every move as you try to concentrate. And I had no clue as to how to 'push my intent to someone'. So far I've been trying to relax and then focus on what I wanted Cosmo to do and pictured it in my mind. I took a deep breath and said, "Sit down," forcefully.

I felt the burning envelop my eyes and I pushed as hard as I can for it to reach him as well but he never moved. Several seconds passed before I sighed and my shoulders dropped. Cosmo gave a shrug and then, he turned to share another look with Tempest. They've been doing that for the past hour and it's becoming really annoying.

I couldn't stop my anger from rising. What did they expect from me? To suddenly know how to use my powers after the two gods said a few words to me? Because for the past few hours we've been practising (and by that I mean, I've been exhausting myself while everyone else just watched silently and judged me), Phobos had only said one word that being 'again', while his twin brother just sat on the ground next to him just observing me.

It's all becoming very irritating. Very quickly.

Maybe the reason I snapped was that I was pissed with myself for not catching up quickly or maybe it was how their attitude made me feel; inferior, weak and pathetic. I hated that feeling, it brought back many terrible memories of kids poking and probing at my self-esteem, of friends leaving me because I couldn't be like them, of adults underestimating me and thinking that everything I got in life was because of my dad.

All of that combined with my exhaustion and the uncomfortable feeling that settled in my belly at their scrutinising gazes, I just wanted to be left alone.

Sometimes I felt like I could take on everyone and everything that came my way. Like I could destroy Hades when it came down to it. Like I was powerful enough to be on this quest. But there were moments like this one where all I wanted to do was be back in my room in New York, crawl under my comforter and hide from the whole world. I just felt so exhausted, like I couldn't recharge no matter how much sleep and rest I got.

"If you have something to say, I'm all ears," my voice was raspy, probably rubbed raw from the extended use of my power but there was something else in there that I couldn't quite pick up.

I saw Deimos tilt his head to the side as soon as the words left my mouth but it wasn't him that captured my attention. Cosmo's face twisted in a way that told me something bothered him and from the puzzled look he sported, I knew he had no idea what it was.

Then, "I don't think that this is working. I think that maybe we should stop," Cosmo looked uncomfortable and apologetic as he said that but no amount of apologies could stop the damage he had already done.

Shame, red, hot and boiling hit me right in the face. I felt everyone's gaze turn to look at me as I processed the words and I hated how the attention made me feel. I wanted to hide, for the earth to open and swallow me whole. I paused barely for one second, barely registering what the others are doing around me as they shifted before I turned around and ran.