feelings

confession

*6 months later*
Max's pov

It's been 6 months since I first found out and the feelings never went away. El
Invited me over for a sleepover tonight. I'm starting to grow more and more nervous and beginning to say stuff I don't mean to say or say what I'm thinking out loud. We watched tv and played games and listened to music.
"max..?"
"yes?"
"Do you like anybody?"
"Uhh no?"
"Oh"
"how about you El?"
"Uhm..I think I like mike"
The words of her saying she likes Mike disgusts me
I guess I looked angry or something since el said
"Max, are you ok..max?"
She will never like me ever. Why can't I be normal. Why. I felt tears upon my eyes.
"I have..to go..to the bathroom" I couldn't help it but I broke down right there.
"Oh max..did I upset you?" She wrapped her arms around me.
"no you..didn't...do anything..." sniffling every other word.
"Then who did?"
"mike.."
"what did he do" I let go and stood up
"what the fuck do i say, el the only thing wrong is that I'm a dyke that's inlove with you but can't tell you since your my best friend and straight? HA I wish" I heard my voice then realized that it was happening again.
"el..I'm so sorry..I..I have to go" I ran out before she can say anything I grabbed my skateboard and started skating I was mad..but at myself..for accidentally telling her.
"shit" I fell off my skateboard causing it to break
"FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT" I threw the broken skateboard in the woods then starting sobbing.
"WHY. WHY ME. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE INLOVE WITH MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND. SHIT" you can hear the pain in my voice as I kicked a tree.

(A/n) writing so I won't have to for a few days