Saving Her

Chapter 7: Is It Selfish?

Zayn's POV:

Audrey walks into the bathroom, accidentally leaving a gap in the doorway, that I simply ignore.

I sit on Audrey's bed, looking around her room, and notice that it's nothing like I remember. All of the colors are gone. The bright purple painted walls are now grey. The only true color is a painting of a pair of brown eyes hung on her wall. Everything else is grey, white, or black

I look around and see a small box of things next to the bed. Right on top is the teddy bear my father gave me money to buy for her 7th birthday.

I look around again suddenly hearing the shower start from the bathroom, making the mistake of looking, I see Audrey pulling her shirt up over her head, her back facing the door.

She is simply perfect; her shoulders relaxing as she drops her arms to her sides. I quickly look away again as she reaches back to unhook her bra.

I try to look anywhere but the partially open door. Yet, I find myself staring again as she pulls the bra down her arms and drops it off to the side.

I can see her full back now, a bold tattoo down her spine; swirls that interlock and dip into an intricate design. As I study it I realize it seems familiar, like I've seen it somewhere before. She reaches up and takes the hair tie out of her long copper hair that falls to her waist. She's beautiful.

Suddenly hyperaware of the fact that I am watching her get undressed as she picks up her phone, I quickly look away. I can't be looking at her, not like this, especially when she doesn't know that I am doing it. This is selfish. I shouldn't want this.

She's my best friend, or, was, before I left. I can't look at her as anything more than that. She is Mattio Moretti's daughter. That man practically raised me after my father died. Maybe not in person, but his weekly calls and meetings to teach me everything he knows, certainly made him the most important figure in my life for a long time. I could never disrespect that by thinking of his daughter this way. This is selfish, I shouldn't be thinking about her.

I continue to look around her room, looking at the bookshelf and seeing most of the books were ones that we often read together as kids, scattered through the various chapter books. I continue to grow confused as I look at my surroundings.

Anywhere I look, it was like a road map of snippets of memories that we made together as kids. It made me hurt in a way I didn't understand, in a way I've never felt. The picture we took the day we promised to be best friends forever is in a small frame on her desk. She was 6 in this picture; I was 8. The flower crown I made her when she was 8, was placed around the lamp on her nightstand. The flowers are dried, dead, and crusty.

As I stand, I look closer around the room as I wander. She has a binder on the desk laid open. I look at the first few pages, feeling drawn to them. It's filled with drawings. Each page is dated. the first one was three weeks after I left. She's been drawing every day since then.

I flipped through to random pages. Most of them are in shades of black and grey, but a few are scattered around in color. There's one that keeps drawing me back to it. A lotus, in grey, slight pink tones shaded in; the details are incredible. It looks extremely realistic. By the date at the bottom, she drew this one a few weeks ago.

Making my way back over to the bed I run my hands down my pants; sit down and pull my phone out. Audrey really has grown so much in the last eight years. Something is telling me she's much more ready for La Cosa Nostra than any of us realize.

I quickly text Leo

Zayn- Hey. So, Ella definitely caught me coming out of Mattio's office. I didn't even have a chance to leave without being seen. Opened the door and there she was standing. I nearly passed out. God, I missed her. I hate that I can't fucking stay around. I hate that I have to leave again. I'll be at yours in a bit, just waiting for her to finish in the bathroom and I'll say bye and come over. I can pick food up? Or probably have Jeremy pick some up actually. He can drop it off there.