How It Is | 5SOS

Chapter 9

-Zoe-

I avoided everyone the next few days, especially Luke. Within less than five days of living with 5SOS, I had somehow managed to cry in front of him. Not just a few tears, I was full on sobbing. My head buried into his shirt. I probably snotted all over it! What was I even thinking!? Lord, he must have felt so awkward. I know I would've. The embarrassment is eating me alive. On top of that, playing the piano was too much for me to handle. I hid away in my room just like this when Ben died. Then, it was much worse, but I feel the same sadness I felt back then resurfacing. It's been pretty easy to hide from everyone. I just have to stay in my room, and wallow in self-pity, sneaking downstairs for food occasionally. But the internet exists, so it's not too boring.

I open up my laptop once again and see that a few people have uploaded to youtube. I used to upload songs and a few vlogs like that regularly. I even got a large amount of subscribers, and made some youtuber friends. But, it's been months since I last uploaded. I just don't have the courage or determination to upload anything. No one would watch me anyway. I can't just disappear off the side the earth for years and expect to come aback with a warm welcome. Anyway, I watched a few vlogs until I decided to just scroll on tumblr for a while.

Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. I groan, assuming it's Nate because he's tried to get me out of my room at least ten times today. I slowly get myself out of bed and make my way to answer the door. Sure enough, it's Nate. I start to swing the door shut but he stops me this time, pushing back and sliding into the room. He crosses his arms, leaning against the wall behind him. 

"Care to tell me what the hell is going on with you?" he says with an unreadable expression on his face. 

"No." I respond, turning back to my bed. 

"Oh no you don't!" he says, rushing over to my bed. He proceeds to flop on it, covering as much of the bed as possible in a weird starfish position. 

"What are you doing?" I say, crossing my arms and shifting my weight back, a bit annoyed, but kind of amused. 

"I'm stopping you from getting back in bed," he says, his voice muffled by the pillows. "You've been moping in here for far too long." 

"I'm not moping. I just like time to myself." I say, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Yeah, right," Nate says, sitting up and looking around at the countless candy wrappers, empty ice cream tubs, chip bags and other various signs of how much junk food I've been eating, scattered about my room. 

"I was hungry?" I say. 

"Well, if you're soo hungry, why don't you come with me to get some real food." Nate says, nudging me. I would've turned down the offer immediately, but I'll admit I'm way to tired of eating junk food.

"What kind of real food?" I ask, trying to hide a smile creeping on my face. 

"Whatever you want. You just gotta get out of this room!" Nate says. We sit in silence for a moment as I contemplate my options. Sit in this room and wait until I decay into nothingness or go get food and some fresh air.  

"Fine." I say, standing up "but we are going to In-and-Out Burger."

"That's not real food," Nate starts to argue. 

"My choice, remember?" I say with a mischievous grin on my face. 

"Okay, well, go shower and stuff, cuz' no offense, but your not looking your best." Nate says, giving me a judgmental up-down glance and proceeding to head towards my door. "Oh, and I'm gonna invite Luke as well. The other guys went off to do lord-knows-what before he woke up. He looks quite depressing sitting alone on the couch downstairs watching Keeping up with the Kardashians," Nate says right before he swings my door shut. Great. Just the person I wanted to avoid. 

- 

I'm back and ready for action! 

vote and stuff! - xx Dottie