How It Is | 5SOS

Chapter 13

-Zoe-

The whispers from the other kids competing were always the worst part. Well, second worst. They would always exchange words about how my brother and I thought we were better than them. How we didn't deserve to win. But we won just the same, over and over again. It was really only us two competing for first, not that I ever cared much about who won. I just played.

The truly worst part of it all was our parents. It was never enough. They always favored my brother. Even when I beat him, all the attention was still his. Memories of winning first and looking to the crowd for my parents' faces of approval, but they always looked almost mad when I beat Ben. I told myself I didn't care and I just played. 

That was the best part, playing. I always felt as though I was moved to a different world when I performed. I felt like I could express all the things I wanted to yell out. My sadness, my frustration, my loneliness. But I wanted to play my own songs. Classics were great in all, until my parents drilled them into my head there was no tomorrow and expected me to have no individual thought.

The night my brother died, I had refused to go to the recital. I locked myself in my room and stayed there. There had been some unimportant disagreement that day that pushed me to snap, but I can't remember what it was about. The argument isn't what mattered. 

Maybe if I hadn't been so ignorant, I could've sucked it up and gone. Maybe I could've seen the car coming. Maybe I could've saved him. 

- 

My hands hover over the keys to the piano. I envision myself pressing down on them, playing a song. I can practically hear it, but my hands don't move. It's the third day of this. Everyday, I've come in, sat down on the bench, and waited for my hands to gain the will to play. Just as I'm about to give up and go back to my room, a voice brings me from my thoughts. 

"You know, you were really good the other day." Luke says stepping into the room as I turn to face him. "Your soul filled the room." 

"Well I was crying. Tears can make anything seem emotional." I say, crossing my arms. 

"I think you should give yourself some credit," he says, sitting beside me on the bench. 

"Yeah, yeah," I say, turning to face the keys again. We pause in silence for a moment. 

"Play me something?" he asks. 

"Nah. I don't really do that anymore. The other day was... an exception."

"Then, what's the notebook for?" Luke says, picking up the book on the desk of the piano before I can stop him. 

"My songbook," I say snatching it out of his hands before he can open it. "You're quite nosy, you know." When I meet his eyes again I see surprise in his eyes. 

"You write?" 

"Well, you make it sound like it's a big ordeal. I just write down ideas. Nothing concrete." I look down into my lap where the book now sits. Its full of random scraps of paper and napkins I added in after thinking of something on the go. 

"Can I look at it?" 

"Like I said, nosy." I say, a hint of a smile dancing on my lips. "And no. It's just for me." 

"Okay. I'm backing me and my big nose off," he says, raising his hands up and leaning back a bit. "How about I play you something?" 

"Sure." I find myself saying. Despite the hours spent listening to the boys play, you could always listen to more. 

He plays something simple and I quickly recognize it as Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. 

"You like Shrek?" I ask jokingly. 

"Haha. It's a pretty song, okay?" Luke says, faltering on the piano. "You made me mess up. Now I gotta start again." He pauses before starting again. This time you join in by 

Well I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

His voice beckons me to join in, so without thinking I do.

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

We sing together, harmonizing perfectly. Luke voices fades suddenly allowing me to sing the nex verse alone, his fingers continuing the melody on the piano.

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

I dig deeper practically belting the next part. 

She tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

And he stops completely, leaving my voice alone to fill the room. I am lost to the moment and don't mind. 

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

I finish the chorus quietly, and look up at him, shock and awe clearly painted across his face. 

"It wasn't just your tears, Zoe. Your soul lives in music." Luke says, his piercing blue eyes looking sincerely into mine. 

A/N: 

HeYo! It me. I haven't posted in over a year so... hi. 

I just watched A Star is Born (highly suggest!) and felt inspired to continue this lil' story. 

If you were a reader before, I highly suggest going back to re-read as I changed some stuff. 

Hope you enjoyed!

- Dottie Xx