Mr. No || NCT || Completed

63 - Where the doctor didn't lie

Chaewon's head had always been busy. Even on good days, it was hard for her to filter what truly required her focus, and which voices to ignore. Unless something was captivating enough, it was difficult - if not even impossible - for her to drown out other thoughts and to force herself to stay on one track.

Though, it had never been this bad.

As she sat at the end of the long, mahogany meeting table in the elegant meeting room, she couldn't stop her hands from shaking or the volume of the mess inside her head from increasing. If, on a normal day, her brain was comparable to a busy but functional subway station, now it felt the passengers had been locked inside the station while all of the subway trains were stuck in their tracks, refusing to move. It all built up inside her head, making her feel like her brain was about to explode.

Renjun knew what she was but had hidden it from her. He had only used her to get what he wanted. He had deceived her just to -

Chaewon's shoulders hunched.

I can't trust Dr. An. I know Renjun, I must have faith in him. He wouldn't -

Sharp pain in her head made her grimace.

Dr. An had not lied to her in Yeouido Park. Everything she had said so far had been truthful.

Her eyes started hurting if she opened them completely, so Chaewon squinted at Dr. An who was seated a couple of chairs away from her, calm and collected expression on her face as she studied Chaewon's hunched posture with utmost interest.

"I would like you to join me elsewhere for a moment. There we can discuss your situation with Renjun a bit more", the doctor had told her in the park before guiding her to a car that took them to the MMCA - the Museum of modern and contemporary art. Chaewon had known that it wasn't wise to follow doctor An blindly but, somehow, she had been incapable of refusing the offer.

While one part of her had tried to stop her, screaming that she shouldn't follow an unreliable stranger, the second part of her needed to know the full truth. That part couldn't handle the thought of Renjun deceiving her, and it didn't have an ounce of understanding towards him if what Dr. An had told her was true.

And, so far, the doctor had not lied.

"Shut up", Chaewon whispered, pressing her trembling hands against her head. The judgmental thoughts were pushing against her weak attempts to see the situation as a whole. "Shut up." Her body rocked back and forth as she tried to push back against the intensity of the anger surfacing every time she considered the possibility of Renjun's deception.

"I'm not saying anything, though", doctor An pointed out in a neutral voice.

"Why did you bring me here?" Chaewon asked, while still holding her head as if that eased the pressure building up inside. Continuous waves of rage washed over her, drowning out her thoughts and replacing them with fire.

"I wanted to tell you about Renjun but first I would like to ask you something else", Dr. An explained. She spoke slowly in a neutral, calming voice. "Can you help me with something before we speak about your situation?"

Chaewon propped her elbows against the dark and shiny table, still supporting her head in her hands.

Renjun had lied. Renjun had lied. Everything she knew about him might be a lie. He deceived her. Dr. An hadn't lied when she said that Renjun knew what she was yet -

Chaewon grinded her teeth together, and nodded at Dr. An halfheartedly. She needed to be distracted from the gears turning in her mind. She needed to grasp onto something - anything - and realign her focus before it would be too far gone.