Some Say the World Will End in Fire |l.s.|

nine

I've been called down to the counselor today. I don't know why, I haven't drawn any negative attention to myself, or even any good attention. I've been transparent, so they have no reason to worry or by angry. Getting inside, the counselor greets me warmly, telling me to make myself comfortable and I just sit quietly on the pink couch she's got in her dimly-lit room.

"Uh, why exactly am I here?" I ask.

"Louis, your teachers have notified us that you've been struggling with your grades and attendance," she explains.

"Why hasn't my mum gotten a call?" I ask.

"We like to talk to the students directly and give them a chance to independently get back on track before involving the parents," she says.

"Oh," I nod.

"Louis, do you think this has anything to do with what happened a few months back?" she asks gently.

"What?" I scoff. "It's just because it's my first year taking AP classes."

"You were doing fine in the beginning of the year," she tries.

"That was just reviewing," I say.

"Louis, your teachers have said that when you are in class, your focus is elsewhere and you're acting very fidgety or spaced out. I want you to know that whatever is going on, no one else will be told unless it is the last resort."

"Nothing's going on. I've always spaced out in class, it gets boring," I shrug.

"Well, we just want what is best for you and your grades. We also wanted to update you, because if you don't improve your academic scores, your mother will be called and you will have a harder time getting all As as your final grade."

"I'm alright, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks for checking up, but I'll handle it," I say, getting up and leaving when our time is up. Leaving school, I'm in an extremely bad mood as I walk up to Harry and take his hand.

"How was school?" he asks.

"You won't believe what they did," I say angrily. "The counselor called me down, she acted like I was gonna kill myself or something."

"What did she ask you about?"

"My grades and shit," I shrug.

"Are they still dropping?" he asks me, a serious tone to his voice that just angers me more.

"So what if they are?" I snap back. "Don't tell me you're siding with the school counselor."

"I just think they have a reason to worry. I mean, Lou, you've been so spaced out lately, you're clearly in your own head. I can only imagine how you zone out in class."

"So I have attention issues?" I chuckle bitterly.

"Louis, why is it so hard to admit that that day is still affecting you? We all see it, and we just want to help. It's like you wanna struggle and keep it from us."

"I'm not struggling, Harry. It was so long ago, it's normal to move on, so why is it so hard to believe that I have? At least I actually go to school," I spit out.

"What you went through isn't normal, you're being stubborn about this and honestly, I'm over it. We're all just trying to help and I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself before you believe it," he argues.

"Your only proof is my grades dropping, which happens to like every kid in high school."

"That isn't my only proof, Lou. You're not eating, you get panic attacks and flashbacks, you can't sleep, and you're doing fucking drugs," he lists.

"I do eat, and I don't do drugs," I roll my eyes.

"You're too thin, Lou. You've lost like 15 lbs in two months, that's not okay. And besides, you think I don't know what people who are hooked on drugs act like? You're zoning out, you're always cold, you don't get worried anymore, you always act all out of it after school, not to mention the smell. You act like I'm jumping to conclusions, but all the evidence is there," he says.

"You're absolutely delusional, is what you are. Just fuck off and leave me the fuck alone," I say, walking up my driveway and as soon as I get to my room, I let out a long sigh of anger. I'm absolutely fine and nothing he can say can prove me otherwise.